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why would it bother me so much? i know hes not doing anything

so ladies, a quick recap. ive been with my husband on and off since 04. in 06 we made it official, and 07 we got married. now he was dating this b***h who treated him bad and cheated on him multiple of times. well she gets a hold of him through facebook and decides to write that she wants to see how hes doing and what not, he tells me about it so i wouldnt freak out and start thinking stuff, and told me he wasnt going to write back, but i saw today that he did write back. he says hes happy than ever, that is uncomfortable for her to be writing to him because its not right to me or him. he then states, "i was trying to get a hold of you when i was first married to be friends and just be cool but you ignored it." then the last message that she wrote stated "sorry i just wanted to see how you were doing and i dont want to cause no drama between you and our wife". why do i feel so bothered by this if i know that its not his fault?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • It bothers you because although you can trust your can't trust other women. I would be bothered by it too. :(

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:49 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • it bothers you bc he lied to you when he said he wasn't gonna write back but still did.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:51 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • as long as you can trust your husband there shouldn't be a thing to worry about. If you can always read his messages on facebook then he's not hiding anything from you. I feel that it's ok to communicate through facebook and facebook only with old girlfriends but I understand though, how you may feel a little bothered, especially that he states how happy he is with you and his family. (you know how envious women can be then try to take your husband) But now since he mention the word happy keep on trusting that its nothing he wants from her.(making her jealous)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I'd say it bothers you b/c he said he wasn't going to write her, and then he did. Although totally innocent, it feels wrong to you b/c he said one thing and did another. I would just let him know that it bothers you and tell him that next time, you don't care if he writes back, but just to please be honest about it. I definitely would not be worried, though, b/c he clearly let her know that he is happy and made clear that he has no interest in even being friends with her at this point.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:16 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • im the same way nmgirl. it just weve been together for so long and he was in love with her and i guess im scared that if she comes back in the pic he will just get up and leave, you know? not that i care if he does beecause i can manage without him, i just dont want to go through the bullshit

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • tropical- i told him if he wanted to he couldve. because it didnt bother me. but i guess finding out that he was trying to get a hold of her before got to me real bad. trust me when i say the itch has nothing on me... literally... all she has is the army, and they broke up in christmas of 03 and he found out she cheated on his bday the following year. me on thhe other hand, im working towards my bachelors right now in RN. and hopefully work my way to my masters and maybe PhD. she smokes and drinks (which hubby dosent like) and shes not a wifey material.. its just frustrating..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • It bothers you because he was with this woman who treated him like dirt, and then he he goes and tries to find her. He never told you anything and kept you in the dark for years and you only found out about it by reading it in a message. If you didn't read it for yourself, you never would have known anything. I know how hard this is for you, but there is something you need to remember. He gave her the decency to let her know that he has moved on and that his life is going great. He is happy. I think he wants her to realize how much better his life is without her. This was kind of a slap in the face. You should let him know how you feel and talk about it. If you don't then feelings will simmer and eventually they will spill over. Good luck.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:30 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

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