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Part 2 to all the parents who didn't read the whole thing. My daughter did it again, 14 and she did not come home until 7pm.

If your child is not home after school (4 hours of them mia) to do all that needs to be done & check in, and you have no idea where your child is SHAME ON YOU.
It takes 5 minutes to get pregnant, and if a child is abducted, and it is not reported right away, you can lose them forever, so you need to pray you don't lose that chance and I will pray for you. There are moms out there that allow kids to go in the room with doors locked, and they don't know what is going on.

As for the cell phone woman. My daughter does not have a cell phone, I feel it is too be earned, and lately she has not earned nothing-failing in school, back talk all the time, does no chores, and I am going nuts with Therapy and everything else. Shoot if I was a kid I would have loved you as a mom-ummm I mean a friend instead of a mom. Cell phones are not toys, and are for responsible people.

I am just being a mom, and my daughter has enough freedom.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Hate to break it to you all, but good children with good values instilled in them STILL GET KNOCKED UP! I'm far from a control freak when it comes to my kids, they have lots of freedoms. But those are EARNED. And checking in with mom and dad is BASIC COMMON COURTESY! Something that this friggen generation is lacking in. If my 16 year old didn't come home or check in after school and came strolling through the door after dinner time, his ass would be toast. I'm sorry, but if my son can NOT respect my husband and our rules and have basic common courtesy then he has NO business having a life. Freedoms and privliages are earned NOT a given.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:30 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Yea 14 is a bitch of an age. I was bad too, but I was never stupid enough to disappear that long without checking in, it would have been certain torture when I was growing up and will be for the same with my kids if they pulls stunts like that. Take a deep breath, try and find out whats going on in that little brain of hers, keep holding her accountable for her actions and know that this too shall pass. Best of luck

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Well you did not have all that info in your last post, you should have elaborated..Don't get pissy about the answers when you didn't tell the whole story..IMO in this day and age everyone needs a cell phone, it makes life easier for everyone! As soon as my daughter is 10 I'm getting her a phone she I can get a hold of her anytime.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • The chances of your 14-year-old getting abducted are much smaller than the chance of her getting struck by lightning. If she gets pregnant, it's because you failed to instill values like self-control, which is learned by having some control over her own life. You sound like a control freak. What do you think will happen if your 14-year-old locks her bedroom door? Are you fearful she'll touch herself and god will then hate her and strike her down? What are you going to do in 4 years when she's a legal adult?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • You failed to put all this info out there. You only said that she came in at 7. Now, had you put all this info out there the first time...the responses would have been different.

    My son does call me and tell me when he come home from school. Let's me know of any homework. Finishes it before he goes out. He has a cell phone so he can update me and keep in contact. He can stay out until 8 or 9. He never just disappears with no call or trace. Therefore, he can stay out and can have a phone. Mind you, it is a cheap as all get out pre-paid and only used for calling me and I him. So, no issues with it. He has racked up hundreds of minutes on it because I add $20/minutes every other month. So, that tells you how much he uses it.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:27 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • You all are crazy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Apparently you don't trust your daughter if you are taking pregnancy in terms of a 14 yr old. As for abduction, it is more likely that your child will runaway or be taken by a non-custiodial parent than to be abducted by a stranger - Stranger abductions are the ones that make the national news, the rest never see the light of day.
    Sorry, but with my daughter - 14 was easy and 15 has been a breeze. She's responsible, never late, always checks in with my personally before going out with friends, has never lost her cell phone, is an honor roll student.
    It isn't all children, it isn't all teenagers.
    You need to figure out where the lines of communication broke and get them working again. Remember that your house, your rules. All actions have reactions and you need to make sure that your reactions aren't too explosive or you will lose your daughter forever.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:29 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Kids with behavior problems usually have parents with poor parenting skills. It's not too late. The book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen is good and sometimes public libraries have the parenting course that goes with it. There are parenting courses like Parenting Effectiveness Training, PET, and Systematic Training for Effective Parenting, STEP. If the classes aren't available where you live you may be able to get them on tape.

    Authoritarian parenting based on punishment doesn't work, psychologists know this. The kind of parenting that works is called authoritative. You can go to google and read more about it. The way your daughter is behaving is classic reaction to having parents that punish. They learn to sneak, lie, behavior gets worse, they don't respect their parents. Think about it.

    Cell phones are for communication. Children should have them if they need them. They aren't a toy or a reward.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:32 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Theres more chance of a 14 year old getting struck by lightening than abducted? Since when?Teens are abducted and murdered every day all over the world! What rock have you been hiding under?
    I read your post yesturday...and I understood what you were saying.I figured she didnt call you after she got off school ..therefore making her not home by 7 pm a reason to freak out.
    Its our job as parents to make sure our children are safe and with teens its a little harder because they do want and need a little independance...but they need to learn to let thier parents know where they are at and what they are doing and who its with. I think you took the appropriate action in punishing her.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:33 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Hate to break it to you....I never said she shouldn't do that. My son does. It is a given, not an option. I trust him. He has his own stance on sex and it is far more strict and controlling than my own. I am glad he understands and realizes. We talk about it daily. He is grossed out by the 13 y/o in his class dating 16 y/o, he said he does not want any of them as girlfriends ever. LOL He wants a virgin and to be one when married. He is a germophobe from infancy and is to scared of the thought of who all a girl has been with and who the person and so on. I know what can happen, I got pregnant at 18 and had him at 19. I also know what house I grew up in and what kind he has. I grew up not being able to do anything, my mom was so controlling and nosy to the point I had a curfew even after 18, even after 22. She is still controlling and nosy.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:36 AM on Mar. 12, 2010