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What do I do when my sons friend gets racist?

My son is 7, his one friend is 8 or 9. This "friend" told my son, who is biracial, that he hates all "brown or black" people, but white people are okay. My husband is hispanic, I am white. BOTH of my kids are biracial and I teach them not to judge people for how they look, the color of their skin, etc. I have known my sons friend's mother since I was in 3rd grade. I told her about this and I am even going to speak to the school, since this happen in school. My son is terribly upset and now says he only has one friend because he doesn't want to be friends with this kid anymore, not that I blame him. This kid didn't know my son was biracial, he merely thought my son was white. I can't understand why, my son is CLEARLY part hispanic. How do I handle something like this? I've never had this kind of thing happen to me before.

 
rdbttrfly

Asked by rdbttrfly at 4:24 PM on Mar. 12, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • The Southern Poverty Law Center has fantastic resources. I would try to get "Teaching Tolerance" in the school http://www.splcenter.org/what-we-do/teaching-tolerance

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:53 AM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • I think your son should find a new friend. I wouldnt want my son hanging out with someone like that. We're hispanic by the way. There's a few hispanic people that say they hate black people and that offensives me as well. I can't tolerate people that think that way. JMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I'm guessing the boy didn't realize your son was biracial because typically, at that age, they don't notice those things. I'm guessing he's just repeating something he heard someone else say. Maybe if your son stops hanging out with him, the boy will realize how awful it is to say those things! I feel so sad for your son to have experienced this at such a young age. I have a biratial 6-month-old and I would feel sick if someone said that to him. You tell your son how special he is, and that he has the right to be respectful to all people, but he doesn't have to spend time with people who are small-minded like that. I mean, say it in a way a 7-year-old will understand, LOL! But maybe tell him that maybe his friend didn't know what he was talking about?
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 4:50 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I am biracial and so are my kids them more white but I would let this kid go I had a friend like that the child said something nasty to my son and they scolded him anyway a couple days later I went back to their house and the husband was saying we have to make sure the Half nigger did not steal anything as they were walking through the house I had to go back to get some of my games as they came around the corner he was making ape noises and he was shocked to see me I knew where the child heard it from then. children that young hear stuff like that from somewhere. JMO
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:46 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Racism just sucks. There are no two ways about it. Apparently his parents have taught him this. How very sad! I hope the school openly addresses this issue, and really highlights the fact that intelligent and loving people realize skin is but an organ, and all humans share 99.8% the same DNA!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • UGH - I don't have a good answe - but my son is mixed - PM me and let me know how it turns out. I would love to have some insight, I havent had to deal with this yet, but I'm sure it will come up some time with someone.

    Sucks. Parents who teach ignorance and hate make me nuts.
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I think your son is the perfect position to change that kid's views. Obviously he's repeating what he's learned from adults. Having your son point out to the other boy that they get along and he's not white may be a good thing for the other boy.  What better way for him to learn that what ever adult in his life giving him that info isn't worth listening to.  At that age peer pressure can be far more powerful than anything. In this case, that could be a good thing.

    maxswolfsuit

    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 9:22 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Well I think you have two options. One is to keep your child away from the other. Another is to talk with your son and have your son explain to the other kid why his feelings were hurt. Perhaps if the boy heard why it is wrong to judge others from your son then maybe he will change his mind. He's only repeating what he's heard anyway and doesn't know better till someone else teaches him its wrong. So what I'd do is have your son talk to the kid and tell him why its wrong to be racist. And if the kid still hurts your sons feelings and refuses to apologize then keep the kid away from your son.

    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:01 AM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • Some times kids just repeat things that they hear. His friend didnt necessarily mean it. maybe you should talk to him and find out why he said it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Mar. 13, 2010

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