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How do you handle an adult (not the child's parent) bathing with a child involved in a joint legal custody arrangement?

My husband & I are recently finding ourselves very concerned. My husband has a 2 1/2 year old son who is highly intelligent & well ahead of the development capacity of a 2 yr old. He told us that he has been showering with his aunt (his mother's sister). We didnt believe him, but still spoke to his mother about this & she confirmed that he showers with the mother & the aunt on a regular basis. His aunt is 17 &we find this to be highly inappropriate. My stepson has been curious about body parts and things of that sort since before he was 2, he also has no issue bathing in the tub alone while we are in the room. We are at a loss as to how to handle because the other side of this equation sees no issue with a near 3 year old with a curious agenda being needlessly naked with his aunt who is 17. We cant imagine what the motivation would be whatsoever. What is the best action to take & how do we express the severity of our concern?

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Asked by kay810 at 8:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (73)
  • I don't see what's wrong with it? She's not hurting him. It's a naked body. Everyone has one and he's got to learn the parts sometime. It's people like you that make the body taboo that really piss me off.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:29 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • i think it is Very INAPPROPRIATE for that! JMO though.

    Answer by eva123 at 8:31 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • He knows the parts, that isnt the point. I am not some neo conservative attempting to shelter my stepson, but I dont see the need. He describes the events in detail, her shaving, taking off her clothes etc.

    Answer by kay810 at 8:32 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I still don't see a problem. Maybe the mom is busy and the sister is watching him and she needs a shower or something. How is it your business what another mom lets her son do with her own sister?

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:33 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • who pissed in your cornflakes sarap1989! Gee's atleast she is concerned about him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • i was actually hoping to find assistance on this site, not attitude but thanks. The reality of the situation is that the sister doesnt babysit, in fact the child is in the care of his grandfather when he isnt in our care 50% of the week. It's my business because I have been this child's stepmother since he was 4 months old and he is the most important person in the world to me and I am concerned for his well being.

    Answer by kay810 at 8:36 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • don't listen to some "people" on here there are some who actually care. i can see why you would be concerned.

    Answer by eva123 at 8:37 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • You can control what goes on in your house, not hers or anyone else's. No one's hurting him. You didn't give birth to him. Your just a stepmom and if the MOTHER doesn't think anything is wrong with it than you should butt out.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Thanks, I am not questioning the mother because what she wants to do is what shes going to do and she may have a legitament reason, the sister however I dont feel does.

    Answer by kay810 at 8:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Well Sarah, our lawyer feels differently and so does the state of nebraska. i am just trying to find a solution to concern without going overboard.

    Answer by kay810 at 8:39 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

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