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I am trying to talk DH into getting fixed so I don't have to do it, but he wont. If he really loved me wouldn't you think he would do it for me?

I have a 5 and a 2 year old I have an appointment with my OB on the 22nd of next month for a pap and I guess I am going to be talking to him about getting my tubes tied cause DH doesn't want to do it. I know there are risks to getting it done, but I can't get him to do it. I am going to be 28 in June. If you go into the hospiptal not pregnant and get it done do they still give you an epidural? What do they give you?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (21)
  • 1. Educate him.. Its a SIMPLE PROCEDURE! Men are sore a few days-- Woman are down for much longer.
    2. Female organs are IMPORTANT!!! It controls our hormones & alot of other things -- Men getting snipped wont change ANYTHING!
    3. His is Cheaper!... Yours is expensive!
    4. What he has done except for plant the seed! A mans part in babies is all fun! We carry the kid. We stretch & grow (it dont bounce back that great either!) We labor & birth. We (some) breastfeed... He gets to light a cigar & the guys cheer him on... We get leaky boobs & hemroids... UGH!
    5. (like i just said in another post) ----- Its like a man saying "Wife Go get shot -- So I the tough husband doesnt have to get a paper cut!"

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 12:15 AM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • I think that whole "if he loved me he'd do it" thing means that you don't care or love him either.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:29 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • why would you think that? I do love him and not saying that I am saying women go through so much why can't he go threw one simple thing like that rather than me it is surgery for a women he can have it done in the dr's office. I love him to death

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • awww, I'm sure he loves you! Its hard for men to talk about something around,near or in thier "boys" getting cut open and snipped,lol. My SO is getting it done and I am so glad he has no problem doing it. Maybe if you do a little research and give him some pamphlets and brochures to look it,he will reconsider because its really not that bad.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 9:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I have never liked the "if you really love me you'll do this" argument. If you really love someone, you do not put conditions on their love. And the reply to if you really love me you will, is if YOU really love ME, you won't ask me to. This is a huge 2-way street.

    Answer by 29again at 9:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I had mine tied, due to the fact that I have kidney disease and its got a good idea for me to get pregnant. Now if I wasn't sick I would have diffently had my husband get fixed. I have no many problems now.. for example... heavier periods, major mood swings and decreased sex drive and over the top sex drive. It sucks.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • What are his reasons for not wanting to do it? My DH did it he offered to do it so i wouldnt have to go through anything else. The way he saw it was i gave birth 3 times he could get the easier of the two options we had to choose from.

    We also know many men who have had it done, around here it is pretty common for men to get a vasectomy.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 9:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • got should be not and no should be so.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 9:35 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I don't think his love for you has anything to do with it.  I think that a lot of guys think that if they get a vasectomy, it'll affect their "performance" or that they'll be less of a man afterwards.  My husband had one shortly after our son was born and it really wasn't that big of a deal for him.

    Cost wise, it's a ton cheaper for him to get a vasectomy than for you to get your tubes tied.  So maybe that would be a way to convince him.  

    It's been a number of years, but when my sister went into the hospital to have it done, hers was done under general anesthesia because they had to cut her open to do it.  I'm not positive how they do it know but you should ask your doctor when you go for your check-up.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • oh wow SOONMOMMYOF3 that will suck if i have to get it done then cause I am on zoloft cause I have mood swings as it is. I have really heavy periods since I had my 2 year old I bleed every for 5 days straight sometimes I wll bleed threw pads and clothes that is how heavy it is. I am going to talk to the OB when I go bak though. The decreased sex drive DH wouldn't mind that he says I am a sex fean lol but the over the top sex drive may be a problem since I want it like every day lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

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