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Is spanking the ONLY way to teach a child who's in charge??

I see this statement a lot when people who spank want to justify their actions.

I don't spank, and my daughter knows full well that I am the mom and I am in control. And contrary to popular belief, she is not a brat or out of control.

Any thoughts? Please be respectful.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Mar. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Spanking is the laziest way to teach a child who's in charge.

    Answer by ddbz at 7:43 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • No - it's the way to teach your child who's bigger and stronger, and often that you don't know how to deal with them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • I think everyone has their own ways of parenting. Some people who were spanked growing up, feel that's how they should rais their children. I spank. Sometimes. It's not an every day punishment. I do time outs. But their are certain cases where I spank. My daughter is 2 and a half...and wether you believe it or not, I know she's smart, and I know she's old enough to understand when no means no, and when she's doing something she shouldn't be doing, like hitting her brother over the head with a toy. No, I do not believe that spanking is the only way to teach a child who's in charge...but me personally, I do believe in spanking. To a certain degree of course. I don't believe that a child should be spanked everyday for everything they do wrong, or when they talk back...but in certain cases I believe its okay. That's just my thoughts on the whole idea.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • I definately don't think it's the only way. My daughter has never been spanked and she is very well behaved. ONE time I smacked her hand when she hit her daddy too hard playing around and she smacked my hand right back lol. I learned then that spanking this child was only going to teach her to hit when she's angry.

    I think spanking is usually an ineffective form of punishment, but for some kids and parents it works great. I was spanked growing up. I never really needed it, though. When I knew my parents were upset with me it was WAY worse than the spankings I got for whatever bad thing I did. But my brother on the other hand... the ONLY way that kid would behave was if he was, like, beaten for everything lol. Not literally, but he did get the belt on a regular basis. I think if my mom had not made so many excuses for him he would have behaved better when he got older and not needed the spankings, though :p

    Answer by Ati_13 at 4:29 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • i spank my kids, but only as a last resort. if i have gotten on to them and put them in time out or other punishment repeatedly and they wont listen, then i spank. i also do it when they do something that is dangerous that can get them hurt. i want them to associate that action with pain. because if they had gotten away with it, they would most likely be in more pain from that action. make sense? i also believe that kids that arent spanked tend to lash out at the adults in their life more often than those who arent. just my opinion

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • I don't believe in spanking, the only time I ever use hitting as a punishment is when my daughter bites a will lightly tap her mouth. Other than that I use 1 minute time outs (she is 11 months old). Even though she is really young, she is learning quickly that she doesn't like time outs and she knows what she isn't allowed to do. Once something lands her in time out 2-3 times she know not to do it.

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 4:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • Spanking teaches kids that it is ok use hitting to solve problems, and that parents should be feared, not respected

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • the only thing it teaches them is not to trust the person hitting them. it shows that the giant person is a bully and to be feared and that the bully doesn't love them just wants to control them by any means necessary. it shows me that they are uneducated and lack parenting skills. parenthood isn't about controlling, it's about loving and nurturing, teaching and guiding a HEALTHY child but spanking doesn't create healthy children. It creates fear and bruises a child's spirit. Don't believe me? Look in the child's eyes the next time you strike the child. For those who have overcome the fear of the spanking, see their rage. They will pass that rage on. stop the cycle of abuse

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • lol i was spanked as a kid and not once have i been in a fight not once have i disrespected my parents nor have i hit them or called them names,i didnt even say shut up to my mom as a joke,wow she was horrible for teaching me respect,btw fear is for those that get BEAT not spanked theres a major difference.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • discipline is different with every family. One should not abuse children of course. If a family chooses to spank a child, then that's what they do, so long as the child is not hurt. I've smacked hands and bottoms on numerous occasions in my home...

    Answer by LynnB1 at 5:02 PM on Mar. 13, 2010