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How would you feel if your friend tried to discipline your child?

We were at the store, there was a problem, so i had to go back and get something else. I was shopping with a friend, and she watched my 3 kids. Well my son apparently, squeezed my youngest daughter's face, and she cried, so the friend did that to my son, and when I came over he was crying!!! and she said to him, well how did you like it????? I'm trying to teach my children not to use their hands and feet with their siblings, and usually would do a time out. I'm kinda upset about it, but I know my husband would probably do the same as she did. What do you think?????

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Asked by sadheart at 4:23 PM on Jun. 26, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't be upset if my friend disciplined my kid, especially if I left them in her care. However, I do not approve of the way your friend decided to discipline your child. She could have simply told him to stop removed his hands for your DD face, separated the kids, and told you about it.

    To me it would matter if that was the same way that my DH would handle the situation. I would say something to her, I would let her know that you were thankful that she stepped in, but at the same time don't approve of the way that she did it and give her a list of ways that you feel would be better.

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 4:33 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I meant would NOT matter how DH would handle the situation.

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 4:34 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • It would depend for me. I wouldn't mind a friend disciplining my child as long as they did what I would do. If that makes sense! I'd probably be upset if the friend used more force than I would, or went against what I was trying to teach my children. I'm not quite there yet, my first child is only 8 months, but thats how I think I would feel. I guess I wont know for sure until I cross that bridge though.

    Answer by MeaganT at 4:49 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • Oooh... That's a good question! For me, there is a line. Nobody can touch my child without my consent. You can verbally discipline my child (no verbal abuse of course). But the only people who can touch my son are immediate family (and even then, my family knows we do not support spanking on a regular basis). I would let your friend know how you felt when you witnessed what happened. If you felt she crossed the line, let her know. If she is truly your friend, she will understand and respect what you say. If she doesn't respect your feelings, then this is someone you may not want your children around anyway.

    Answer by ModMoma at 4:55 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • i think you left her unattended with no prior instruction on how you would like things handled and so you should have expected anything.
    my best friend has taken my dd for a day so i could catch up on things for myself and we made perfectly sure that she and my dd knew what to expect from each other and knew how to handle it.
    its not her fault if you are ill prepared to leave your children with someone you can tell her how you would like it handled next time but dont be suprised if she gets defensive that you are overreacting - cause you are.

    Answer by vakatia at 6:16 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I would not have liked her response to them ..not one bit. I would tell her too. In a way that would not cause more drama. I would explain my discipline methods and ask that she respect them and if she has problems with my little ones just let me know and I will take care of it. No one should touch your kids other than you or your SO.

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 7:14 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • She probably didn't hurt him... she probably just scared him. You can't really be mad b/c you did leave them with her. If you plan to leave them with her in the future, just let her know how you'd like things to be handled.

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 12:28 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I would Thank HER! For the lesson. I love it when my friends discipline my kids. They are way more receptive to them than to us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I wouldn't mind if my friend told my son to get away from his sister(if he had one) and stand by her until I got back or something along those lines, but we'd have issues if she put her hands on my son in a disciplinary fashion.

    Answer by vannahs at 11:26 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I would tell her not to touch my children, that we don't discipline like that. If she has an issue with them, talk to you first.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 12:47 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

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