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What do you think?

I'm 30 years old, I've been on drugs most of my life. I have 3 kids all of which I wanted. My first son, I gave up custody to his stepmom so he will be in the home he's used to if I die. My second, my daughter, I had charges against me from stealing from my sil so I gave guardianship to my mom. It's been years and I'm just now trying to get her back. My 3rd, my son, I cheated on my hubby who I had been separated from for my entire daughter's life and got pg. I gave him up for adoption to a lesbian couple. I can see him when I want to. I am now talking to my hubby, but he's in the marines.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (20)
  • Leave your kids alone. If they want to know about you they'll find you when they're old and can handle the feelings. Stay off drugs, keep yourself out of trouble and when they do want to know they'll like what they see. Stay the hell away from marines that a relapse waiting to happen. They're lifestyle is not accommodating to any kind of relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • What do I think?
    I pray for you and your children that you overcome your drug addiction.
    You need to do this so you will live so your children do have a mother.
    Stay strong. the main thing that you need to kick a drug addiction is Will Power and self control and the want to quit.
    If you do not quit you should not have your children.
    rochellecole

    Answer by rochellecole at 11:52 AM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I think it takes a strong person to realize that they have a problem and admit to it. It takes a strong person to give custody or adoption to someone knowing that at that time you could not do it. The important thing is that you get yourself straight and the help you need to be drug free. You need to do this not only for yourself, but for those children. If you have a chance to be in their lives, then you need to. Children grow up so fast and those memories you cannot get back. If your going to be in their lives, then you need to stay in them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I never said I had a prob and that I wanted to change. I get to see my kids but I don't have to take care of them and it's great.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • OP, I am assuming you are Anon :09.

    You are basically wanting to play mommy when it is convenient and then leave all the dirty work to their legal guardians, which I think is royally fucked up.

    I agree with the first person: get on with your life and stay away from those kids until you either get your shit together or when the kids are old enough to want to meet you and know you.

    I so badly want to believe you are a troll......

    How is it you want to get your daughter back when you admit that you enjoy not having to take real care of them?
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 4:48 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Wow...you sound like my AS's birth mother. Wanted the kid not the resposibility... We all know what happened to her.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:33 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • responsibility...sorry

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:33 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I just can't believe that any person is truly okay with being addicted to drugs and is happy and fulfilled. I could be wrong but that seems so hollow sounding. I truly have never met an addict who like themselves and was at peace with being a slave to the addiction. Which leads me to believe this is a troll starting trouble or your in serious denial. As far as what do I think: I think you have the right to make your own choices, the right to continue to harm your body if you are not ready to live independent of drugs, the right to your reproductive system, and the right to choose where your children grow up with and who. As long as you are not endangering your children at the exact same time you are doing other activities. Other wise, if you endanger a child you are committing a serious crime. I'm actually pretty liberal with it is your body and you do what you want to it. My heart breaks for any person with addiction

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • but in the end it is really up to you how you want things to go. No one can make anyone do anything they don't want to do. I believe that is true of those who abuse drugs/alcohol. If you wanted help you would seek it. Until that time no one is going to tell you other wise. No guilt trip has ever worked with any addict I have ever known. They decide, it is not usually decided for them. Sounds like you know what you are giving up and sounds like you don't want to change. What is to judge? Congrats, you are like thousands of other women caught in similar circumstances. Doesn't make you unique or special. Just makes it a sad statistic. Both for you and your children. When you ask what people think....most people don't think about you when they pass you on the street. They prefer to walk on by and ignore your presence. So my guess is most people just prefer not to think about your type of circumstance.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:24 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Just so ya'll know, this is my sil. I just wanted to know how others viewed this sorta thing.
    cyber-pg

    Answer by cyber-pg at 1:28 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

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