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Christian parenting that doesn't involve beatings or "training"?

My husband and I are Christians and are looking for some good Christian guidance on raising our children. Our son is a toddler and we want to teach him to mind us, but in a gentle, age-appropriate manner. We want our discipline to match what he is capable of. I've researched "bible-based" parenting theories, but it seems they all involve spanking - often with something other than the hand! I'm not going to "train" my child using a method I wouldn't even use to train my dog. I don't want to "train" my child at all, I want to teach him. Do you know of any books, websites, or classes that might take a gentler approach to discipline, while still teaching my child good self-control, manners, and obedience?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • use SuperNanny methods, i feel that it works best!
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 1:23 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Rachel, Thanks for that suggestion. I do watch supernanny, but I think my 15 month old is a little too young for a time-out spot. It would have to be a spot that he can't move from, because I don't think he'll understand the concept of staying put. I thought about putting him in a time-out in his crib, but I feel like it will take me so long to get him to his crib that he won't make the connection between his behavior and his consequence.
    Do you know of any books on toddlers specifically? I want to know something that makes sense with his developmental age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • http://christian-parent.com/ten-alternatives-spanking/

    As a preschool teacher we are all about choices and time outs. "Good Choice" and "Sad Choice" are the terms we use. If a child makes a sad choice we let them know and then talk to them about their choice while having them sit in time out for the alloted amout of time (usually a minute per each age, if they are 2 they get 2 minutes) After the time out, affirmation and lots of love is given, make sure to focus on the positive more then the negative, give more praise over then Good Choices then attention to the sad choices.
    CuteandCurvy

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 1:29 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • 15mos is not too young for time out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • It doesn't take books or websites. It just takes love, intelligence, caring, respect and common sense. Match the discipline with the behavior and for a reasonable amount of time. Never do it in anger. Take time to calm down. Send the child to their room to think about what he/she did then as a family discuss it. Include the child in the decision making. Sometimes kids are harder on themselves than parents. Be open and honest. Communicate often. It's really not that hard and no hitting is required.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Supernanny doesn't use discipline methods on children younger than 2.5 years old. Before that age, redirection is best. She is a wonderful person, and full of knowledge!
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:50 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Dr. Dobson has some really good books on discipling children of all ages. I read several when my older kids were young - I don't remember it ever mentioning spanking your child with something other than your hand, and I'm not sure about spanking in general. We always reserved spanking for situations where they were putting themselves or someone else in danger.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:02 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Join Attachment Parenting Christians on CM! They are WONDERFUL!!! The mommas there have children of all ages and have great advice for any situation. I don't post there often, but I go there almost daily to read through the posts and replies.
    vances_mom

    Answer by vances_mom at 5:25 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • read the book 1-2-3 magic and get the book boundaries with children from cloud and townsend (i yet hav to read that one i was just told about that book the other day)
    elias1mamma22

    Answer by elias1mamma22 at 5:47 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Dr. Sears has a book called Christian Parenting.
    whiteroses82

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 8:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

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