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How to 'politely' change churches?

I'm a religious mom, Baptist in particular. I am not feeling spiritually fed at my church. I would like to find a church that I feel more compatible with, however, I would like to know a way to go about doing it politely if that makes any sort of sense. I do not wish to hurt anyone in doing so, only seeking the best for myself and my family. How do you suggest going about it? Writing a letter thanking them and expressing our differences? (This could cause hurt.) Just saying nothing and searching? (This could also cause hurt.) How can this be accomplished in a polite, yet meaningful way for the search of God and all things of God? Have any of you ever experienced this and if so, what did you do? How did it work out for you?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I am a pastor's wife (baptist), and while it can be disappointing when someone leaves the church, I am always excited to hear that they are growing at another church. I would MUCH rather hear you are attending and involved somewhere else, rather than going nowhere. It is always nice to hear why someone is leaving. To be honest, once in a blue moon, your reason could be something we could change at church (maybe even have been thinking about changing), your reason could help the pastor grow or see where he needs to do more training, it could be a teaching opportunity, or at lesat it is an encouragement to the pastor. To know that you care enough about him and his ministry to tell him, "we're moving on." It's always a bit painful to hear, but hopefully he will be glad to hear you want to grow and be obedient to the Lord.

    Answer by micheledo at 2:01 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I left and searched. When any one said anything I said God guided me so it must have been His will and needed me elsewhere.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:00 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • You're not going to be able to do it without someone getting butt-hurt over it, so I'd just leave and start searching.

    You can do what my mom did one day when she was going to a Missouri Synod Lutheran church and the pastor started talking about how every soldier over fighting in Kuwait during Desert Storm was going to burn in hell. She promptly stood up in the middle of the service while the pastor was still ranting and walked straight out and never went back. Hearing someone condemn someone else wasn't exactly in line with her beliefs, and she didn't care if someone's feelings got hurt. She was going to go find another church that actually was more in line with her feelings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Why on earth do you feel obligated to the church? Church is personal and about each person. You leaving will have no impact on that exact church, they will revamp and carry on with out you.

    I visited different religions' churches and also multiple churches in my own religion.

    God is about YOU no one else.

    Answer by lfl at 2:02 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • If you want to exercise honor, sit down with the pastor and his wife and just let them know you are being lead to move on. This is the best way to leave the church, you are respecting and honoring the Pastor by letting them know. There is no need to say you are not getting fed or anything negative. It is better to display grace and honor by letting them know the positive things. God will deal with the rest.
    It also helps you in the long run in how you feel when you leave. I have done it both ways and found honoring a pastor was the better way to go.

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:51 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • OP here....thank you for your honest and heart-felt suggestions. I do wish to exercise honor in this decision, as well as respecting the Pastor and his wife enough to tell them of our plans. I will continue to pray and fast in this direction and truly appreciate your input. : )

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • We are thinking about switching churches and not saying anything about it. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If they do ask you are perfectly capable of providing a polite version of the answer. You obviously are a nice person who is aware of how they are affecting others or you wouldn't ask this question.
    God Bless You in finding a new church!

    Answer by amber710 at 4:17 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Just stop going.

    Answer by Whatkids at 7:50 PM on Mar. 14, 2010