Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

lying husband...please actually read before answering.

So my husband and I have been married for not quite a year. Have one toddler and one on the way. He has been so supportive lately even doing laundry to help me with my 1st tri sleepies. He is a manager at a place where sometimes he has to go check in with his night crew. I always get a little weird when he does this, but my horomones are out of whack so I try to not be an untrusting wife. Then today I decided to finish up the laundry and I find a movie ticket in his back pocket for a movie friday night when he said he was as work. I'm not "crazy" pregnant yet so I wouldn't have had a problem "letting" him go, so I don't know why he kept it from me.

FYI: I don't want to hear the "leave him" comments. That is not realistic right now and it is the first time I've caught him in a lie. Just be supportive women and tell me how I should handle this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • i would just talk to him about it. tell him you have no problem with him going out sometimes but he shouldnt lie about it because it can cause trust problems. be honest with him and dont seem like you are accusing him of anything.

    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 4:24 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • just ask him about it. say how was work on frida? and see what he says..and be sure the date on the ticket is a recent one..just in case you didnt read it right.(never know) and if he still says he was at work after you ask him how his night went pull out the movie ticket...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Hold it in your hand out away from you for him to see it AFTER you say hon what's this -watch his face, eyes, mouth, shoulders. You'll know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • That's totally not something to scream "leave him" over. Just ask him. Maybe he just wanted some time alone. It's really no big deal.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 4:26 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Confront him about it. Tell him their is no reason to hide things from you unless he is going with someone like another lady.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:26 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I would check out the time on the ticket, and see if it is during the time he said he was at work. Then I would show him the ticket and say something like "I found this when I was doing laundry. I am a bit hurt that you lied to me about where you were. I wish you would have talked to me about this as I really would have been ok with you going out to the movies by yourself. Next time you want to do something be up front and honest with me.".
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:41 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I would definately let him know that he doesn't need to lie about it. And if he was with someone he should honor you enough to be honest. More than likely he just wanted to get out of the house for a bit. Just let him know that you are fine with that. But if you had an emergency you need to know where he is going to be. How would it look if you had to call his work and he wasn't there? Just tell him to be honest.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:54 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Have it sitting at the table so when he sits down to eat he sees it and just ask him "What's that?" Let him tell you. Sometimes men just need to get away just like women. He may have just gone to his man cave at the movies. Was it a guy movie? Maybe he thought you wouldn't like it and just went.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:05 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • *******Update***********
    So I texted him about it (he took my son out of town for the day), because I'm impulsive and couldn't wait until he came home. He said he went to work and wasn't needed so he caught a movie. He said he should've told me and he's sorry. I told him it brings up trust issues and that I'm obviously wondering what else he's keeping from me. He said there's nothing, he just went to a movie. It was a guy movie, but more importantly we don't ever get to go on dates together so most of the time both go to movies by ourselves. He knows I'm okay with him getting guy time. He got to go out drinking the weekend before, so it's not like he would be afraid I would say no. We have a pretty relaxed trusting relationship. That night he told me he had to go into work to shape the guys up and then he said it was because someone was late. I'm starting to over analyze it!!! fyi...the ticket is for that night 7:10pm,.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I completely understand and empathetic to your situation. I think the best policy in marriage is to be honest and direct. Try these 3 steps. 1) Confront him about where he went friday night. 2) depending on his honesty--present the evidence showing his story is hogwash. 3) Set limitations- If you want to save yourself from constant feelings of mistrust--set him boundaries and take it from there. I wish you blessings and good fortune. Try not to stress the baby feels what you feel,
    CarlysCorner

    Answer by CarlysCorner at 6:33 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN