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can you really be friends with your ex husband?

my ex husband wants to try to be friends...we've had some major issues in the past but he is begging me to leave the bad stuff behind...says he wants to make good memories for our 6 month old of mommy and daddy being nice to each other and the three of us together...

i don't know.

anyone ever tried to be friends with their ex husband? can it work?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • 6 month olds don't have a memory of mommy and daddy doing anything. In time you can be friendly but not sure you can really be friends especially if you can't make it as a couple past a baby's 6 month old birthday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • It is possible. You can both be civil to each other. It doesn't mean you have to love each other and get married again or anything, but it would be nice for the child to grow up knowing that mommy doesn't want to slit daddy's throat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • you don't have to be buddy buddy or act like your married, but you should be civil to one another for the sake of your children, and to be honest, the sake of yourself! if you let resentment, hate and bitterness creep into your heart and STAY then it'll ruin your life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I don't know about ex-husband, because I've been married once, and still married, but I am friends with an ex-boyfriend.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 6:00 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Anonymous 5:47 - that was rude...we couldn't make it as a couple past 6 months because we'd already been together for 4 years and i got pregnant and we tried to make things work but couldn't. some people are just better off as friends. OP

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I think that you should do what is in the best interest of the child. Being friendly with your ex doesn't mean you have to hang out together. I do think, though, that it is important to respect each other. He will always be the father of your child. You will know him for the rest of your life wheither you like it or not. When I divorced my first husband, I knew in my mind that I wanted to be friendly with him for the sake of the kids. Not to mention I was in love with him at one point and I cared about him. I have tried to keep that friendship even through disagreements and remarriages, I have continued to support him as a father and continue to care about what he does. We've been divorced for 14 years now. And I can honestly say I do not regret being friends with him ever. I would regret if we had not found a way to be nice to each other. I think it has been good for our boys as well. They never had to pick sides!

    Answer by bjane01 at 6:11 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • What made it not work once you got pregnant? Sounds like he just wants the fun of a family w/o the responsibility. You don't get it all. Does he want friends with benefits? You don't have to be ignorant, you can be civil but he sounds like someone you don't need in your life.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 6:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Also, leaving the bad stuff behind doesn't mean that you put yourself in a situation that it could be repeated but you do forgive. I forgave my ex for lieing to me and trying to sleep with my sister. Over the years I didn't exactly trust him when he said something and I knew him well enough to tell if he was lieing to me and I didn't put myself in positions that I I had to rely on him being honest with me. You live and learn.

    Answer by bjane01 at 6:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • im friends with mine, but we didnt have kids, im still close with his family in fact :)

    Answer by ShortMommytobe at 11:34 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I'm friends with my Ex-Husband. Even after the abuse, and his (now former) alcohol problems. We don't hang out (he lives in a different state now too), but we do still go to each other for advice sometimes, we chit chat when he calls to check on our children, and we ask how our spouses are doing. His wife is about to have their second baby together, and my husband and I are expecting our second together, so we've talked about pregnancy and such...and since we have been through it twice together already, we sometimes compare and it helps to remember the happy times, and forget the bad stuff. It was a rough divorce, emotionally, but we both got to a spot where we knew we were better as friends than husband and wife. And luckily, both our spouses understand this, and have no issues. Our kids are much happier because of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

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