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My dd is driving me nuts, what can I do?

My dd just turned 1, and she is driving me nuts. When she gets mad, she will sit there and scream at the top of her lungs. The screaming gets so bad that she is starting to lose her voice. I can't just pick her up and hold her like she wants all the time because I have so much going on here. I have two other kids to take care of. I have my disabled mother to take care of, and my DH is gone 12 hours a day for 6 days a week. I am exhausted because I have so much on mu plate. I have to wake up at 4:30 3 days a week to take my mom to dialysis and pick her up 4 hours later. My baby does not sleep well anymore. She used to sleep all night, but she had RSV and couldn't lie down to sleep and now she wakes up several times a night. I don't have anyone to come and help me, so that's out of the question. What can I do? I am literally about to lose it.

 
krissyvelazquez

Asked by krissyvelazquez at 5:45 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (8,028 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • It does sound like your daughter is screaming as a "so there" because she is not getting her own way. Yes, it can be hard to listen to. I like the others ideas of putting her in her crib and telling her that when she is done screaming she can come out, and then ignore her while she is screaming. You said you have other kids, how old are they? Are they old enough to help you out, or entertain your little one while you get things done? One suggestion- do you have any teens or tweens who live near you? Maybe you could consider having one of them over as a mothers helper- and help entertain the kids or help with some of the household things.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:25 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • She's feeling insecure. Take five minutes out of your busy day and just hold her and make her feel secure. She feels pushed out. Kids sense your tension so she's not screaming over being angry. She's reacting to your energy and feeling like you don't want her. Make time for her, even if it's only small amounts of time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • If no matter what you try she starts to scream when you put her down, tell her firmly no screaming and put your finger on her mouth so she knows what you mean. It probably won't work at first, then I would put her in her crib and tell her she can't come out until she is done screaming. She will probably cry herself to sleep the first time or two. She is to young for you to just put her in a room until she gets the message because she could get hurt. The minute she stops screaming though, you have to go get her so she understands it's the screaming that you don't tolerate, not her. I would then give her a drink or something because she will be thirsty.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 6:21 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • OK, but just so you know, I know when my daughter is angry and when she is not. For example, she knows how to crawl up the stairs, I will put the gate up and she will just look at me and scream. If I don't give her something that she wants, she will scream. If I take away something that she is not supposed to have, she will scream. I know the difference between her angry and her "mommy I need you" cries. I can handle the cries mostly, but it is the screaming that gets to me.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:30 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Honestly, you can't hold her 24-7, whenever she wants. Do what my sister does (she has a 2 and a 3 yr old)...when she feels like she is about to lose it. She puts whichever kid is screaming at the top of their lungs in their room and doesn't let them come out till they are calm again. Recently I was with my sister out shopping with her kiddos and my nephew randomly sat down and screamed the loudest scream I have ever heard in my whole life...she asked me to watch my niece, took my nephew outside to the car and beat his butt. Sorry my family believes in spanking. In the bible it says,

    "Proverbs 29:15 (NLT) "To discipline and reprimand a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child."

    Proverbs 23:13-14 (NLT) "Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. 14 Physical discipline may well save them from death."

    MarrsBar211989

    Answer by MarrsBar211989 at 7:11 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

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