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non-loving siblings

anyone have siblings that they don't speak to? I hear so often- you have to have more than one child- then your child will have siblings who will be there for them-

My mother hasn't spoken to her sister in about 15 years, I don't speak to my sister after she attacked and injured me (would you?) and I just heard of another case of where the siblings don't speak.

makes me wonder why so many people assume that if they give their child siblings they will automatically be loving buddies-

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I don't get along with my sibling who bulled me for years with friends. And I rarely talk to my parent who didn't care when I was a kid or now. BUT I made sure to bring up my kids with daily respect between us and to their peers and others. I screamed I yelled but they knew I loved them and love them through it all. And I knew when they yelled back and slammed doors at me that they loved me.

    My kids are now very very grown. They are so respectful to others and each other. My daily teachings worked.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • My sister and I rarely talk. Its not that I don't love her. I call her sometimes but she never calls me. We live in different states and shes always been selfish and immature. On the other hand, my girls tend to be very close. I suppose it depends on the people.
    CKasting

    Answer by CKasting at 8:41 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • well....we should try to work things about the best we can. Talking to the person and telling them how we feel.
    In my case, me and my brother rarely talk. But I also have two other siblings...one older than we both are, and one younger than we both are.
    We used to be best of friends with each other. He has anxiety and depression, and has hurt me physically and emotionally in the past. I've forgiven him over and over....I can't even count how many times...Well, when you forgive, but the other person continues thier destructive behaviour towards you, then you become numb. This is why we don't speak...and it's not so much him as it is me. I can't see myself ever opening back up to him. Just been hurt too many times by someone that should be a friend to me, instead of a foe. Sad, but it is what it is...and i've tried numerous times even to go to therapy to understand and forgive, but nada.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • OP- anon 844pm- I agree that you should try, which I did for some time- but in the case of my sister there is no way I'm going to put myself in harms way to possibly have to be hurt and in the hospital again.
    No more than I would for a abuse husband.
    but mainly I'm curious in the stories that fellow women have shared. Thanks for sharing!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Before my brother's death last summer, he and I hadn't spoken for over a year because of his harsh words towards me. I know it was because of his bipolar, but it still hurt and considering my problems with depression, I couldn't put myself through that, so I got updates on what was going on with him from his wife and from my mom.
    kittyhasclaws

    Answer by kittyhasclaws at 9:21 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • yes my older brother and as far as im concerned he is no longer family after he divorced his wife, i claim her b4 i claim him..and for lots of reasons
    he thinks he is better than everyone else esp if the person has to be on public assistance, i was labeled white trash cause my husband and i had to be on PA for awhile cause our jobs didnt pay enough. but yet he got with a woman who had 5 kids with 5 men just so she could stay on PA, and he defended her...but god forbid we had to be on it for 2 years total in the past 10 years since we been married.
    he uses women as sex objects
    he physically abused his ex wife, beat her with chains and pulled a gun on her a few times
    and the worst was he f***k our cousin when she was 15 and gave her herpes....
    my cousin and i are the same age 30...and my brother is 17 years older than us....so yeah as far as im concerned he could get killed tomorrow and i wouldnt care...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • My sisters( 1 older,1 younger) and I have never gotten along, and my relationship with my older brother is strained at best. I tried for the better part of 30+ years to build a relationship with them, but it didn't work. I made a resolution at New Years to let them go and if they want me in their lives, then they have to make the first move. I don't think I've ever made a better decision! Without them, I am living with much less stress, frustration, and anger, which also benefits my DH and son.
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 9:36 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • My sibs and I have a great relationship. My mom and her sister don't speak. Her sister is the crazy one in the family. There is always at least 1 crazy in every family.

    I have already voted not to let youngest BIL in the house ever again and DH has agreed. Youngest BIL is an ass, and his presence is psychologically damaging to everything. He's not even allowed around the dogs.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 9:56 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I have 2 younger brothers. I love the youngest so very much, words can't even describe it. The middle brother however just grates on my nerves. Our personalities clash completely and in every way. He still teases me whenever we meet, he called me ugly the day I gave birth to my daughter!! I know that this sounds terrible, but I'm not sure if I really love my middle brother or not. I mean, I must love him because he is my family, but I really don't like him at all.

    -xoxo-

    Answer by -xoxo- at 11:13 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

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