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i still cant trust him completely any advice?

my husband almost had an affair...well in a way he had an emotional affair but didnt sleep with her, and thats because i caught him tryin to seek out to be with her and i put both of them in their place.(the only time he seen her was at work, i kept him too busy at home with me and the kids to go out on his own) she knew he was married, im friends with her older sister and she is friends with my sister... well Dh and the hoochie work together....and he still has her on FB and still has her number and still texts her. they both say nothing is goin on and she has moved on to someone else's husband...well her used to be best friend's husband,(she has a thing for married men) but it still bothers me that he still talks to her. even though i know he wont leave me for her..she is a drunk and will sleep with anyone to get booze, she just turned 19.... im not sure how to get over this and trust him again, any ideas


Asked by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think the only way to get your trust back, and it is totally on him to get your trust back since he is the one who made you lose it. He needs to cut off talking to her totally facebook, myspace, email, phone calls EVERYTHING. He does not need to talk to her at all , for what? As long as it takes for you to get your trust back that 's how long he needs to do whatever he can to get it back to convience you whether it is 2 years or 20.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:49 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • op here

    and so we are clear i dont keep my husband hostage...we make plans to do stuff as a family or have our parents watch the kids so we can out by ourselves and most of the time he choose the activities we do as a family or on our own.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I can only tell you what I would do in that situation. I would leave. I wouldn't force my hub to stop being friends with her, but to me, it shows a lack of respect, and if he has any respect for you or for your family and your marriage, he'd do it out of his own willingness. If my husband wanted to be around, that's what would need to happen to show me this won't happen again. He's going to do what he's going to do, but I sure as hell will do what I need to do because it would tear me to bad emotionally to stick around.
    I'm sorry xoxo :( *huge hugs...I hope you do what you need to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • the guy i c has a wife and she keeps him on a short leash too but we do it at lunch time. she can't stop us. he makes time 4 me

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • the guy i c has a wife and she keeps him on a short leash too but we do it at lunch time. she can't stop us. he makes time 4 me

    wow women like you need a good ass whooping.....dont you have any guilt? i hope when u get married your husband does you dirty like that

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Wow, anonymous husband-snatcher, that's really sick. I hope someday you learn to respect other people's things, and to stay away from men who are cheaters, for your own sake.

    OP, I actually agree with the first commenter. I know it sounds drastic, but your husband needs to choose. I think it's TOTALLY inappropriate for him to have contact with her at all, and shows that the door is still open. I wouldn't trust him either. If it were me I'd simply back up and say, "I love you, but you have to decide. I think we need some time apart for you to decide what and who you want."

    Answer by Adelicious at 9:40 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I'm stuck right now in a bad relationship with kids and we're married. And he's cheated emotionally definitely multiple times and physically possibly twice.

    Your husband will not change. You will be writing in in three to six months tops saying close to the say thing as now if you stay with him.

    You need to remember that husband is thinking of his extremity long term so to speak in terms of length and time where as you're thinking of marriage long term. There's a difference. Put your own self respect before his extremity.

    it's not fun to live through your situation over and over again.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • For the annonyomus who has a married boyfriend and they do it at lunch...let me tell you something honey. You are not getting away with anything. What is done in the dark, will come to the light. As well when you find your self respect and meet a man that you want to marry and are in love with.....payback will be a bit- - because you reap what you sow. Don't think you won't hurt just as much or more as you are making that wife hurt. Just wait.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • well sweety u cannot keep tabs on him no matter ho u feel if he is gonna cheat they find ways
    its gonna be hard but tey to talk to him calmly and tell him how u feel and how hurt u felt
    and say how would u feel if i would have dont htat to u ?
    see how he reacts but do it nicely
    if he knows how she is why would he even bother
    someone needs to treat little miss koochie bitch a lesson
    but those bitches get theres eventually
    only time will tell

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • to miss annomouse cheater bich
    u will get what is comin to u
    and i hope it the man u r messin with if he stoops as low to cheat with u on his wife what makes u think he is not cheatin on
    u with someone other then his wife and he probley is
    if i would be her i would use your face as a mop on my floor
    my husband found out i was there and i turned on him now he rspects me cause like i said i turned on him and wooped him in front of all his male friends and her
    yeah keep looking over your shoulder u never know whats comin your way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

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