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i seen a question where someone posted they sleep with the married man at lunch...i have questions for you...or anyone who has been the other bashing

so what does he tell you? and how does he keep his wife from finding out? maybe knowing the other side will help me figure out whats goin on with my hubby and his co worker and why he is still talkin to her...and anything thing else i should know about how these affairs work...


Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • and to Sophie4910-
    there are mistresses who are ashamed of what they are and some who are not- either way I doubt that statements like yours change much.
    Some are tied up with a man that they can't seem to leave, others are truly happy.

    takes all kinds of people to make the world go round-
    maybe instead of bashing the women you think you are better than,
    perhaps you should take a look at yourself- your guy could have something on the side too-

    this post if providing some of the most valuable information a woman will ever get and I think OP was very smart to ask!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Are you sure he is having an affair?
    I was told how much he loved me and that we were going to get married and he was going to leave her and then she was pregnant and he was going to wait a bit and it never happened. We stayed to gether overnight we would dine together and do normal couple things. Then I went my separate way. And I would never do it again. It was an experience I like to chalk up as me being too young.

    Answer by QandA at 10:12 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I'm not the poster of that sentence but he's obviously 'at lunch' when in reality its a quickie in the car or park or gym where ever.

    Your husband is still seeing his 'coworker' cause it's an exciting treat to not be found out by you, caught in the act or caught by someone who won't keep their secret. You're old not your age but your length of relationship and she's new cause it's a 'secret'. New eventually becomes old and old has problems that existed before and still exist -distrust by the replacement lust will take over even if they stay together. Cause they both disrespected each other by cheating on their partners.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Mame I would like to say that you finding out how they cheat will not help you in your situation. I will probably just make you made. All you have is two totally disrespectful people who are selfish and think they are getting away with something. Mostly the fun and excitement is the thrill of "we could get caught." I gives them so sick thrill. Bottom line they don't know what love is, and any woman stupid enough to mess with a married is just calling heart ache for herself because she will definately get it back. It is only a matter of time. As far as the man goes he just has no control of his private part, it controls him. Men can sleep with 1,000 women and never really get emotionally attached to them. Not all men of course but a lot of them. Just my opinion. I really feel for you my sister, you don't really don't need a jerk like him.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Sorry about all my errors I was typing too fast.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I guess most of the time it's like any man that you Love or feel attracted to. Most likely you didn't go out that day with the idea that you would fall for a married man or ANY man for that matter. You love who you love. Granted that doesn't mean you have to sleep with them, but often it's just the attraction taking over your common sense.
    Or in some cases being told that the wife is a monster, so it's figured they can make this unhappy man happy again.

    I've been with 2 married men in my life. First time was a coincidental once night stand- had no idea he was married and was young and inexperienced. The second time I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and figured since there was no such thing as happily ever after, then I might as well follow my passions.
    smart gal huh? :P

    I guess the bottom line of it is that it's usually bad judgment-

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Men like that are so charming and can make the other woman believe anything. All the while convincing his wife the she is imagining things.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • She prolly knows about you. I did. I also knew I wasnt the only one. He just doesnt love her anymore but they have kids together. She is really really ugly, and I was the young hot college freshman looking for someone just to play with. I guess all he wanted was the same and I could accept that. We even talked about his kids and places he took his wife, and the thing he liked was i didnt care and was cool about it.

    *by the way, this was before i met my hubby :-)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • it's not a thrill of getting caught and it's not in a car or a quickie in the broom closet. i live close to work and we go to my place for lunch. he calls his wife and tells her he's leaving for lunch then he calls her when he comes back from lunch. sometimes he tells her is is working out at the gym or running errands. he tells me that she won't give him sex; she's too tired or not in the mood and she won't do what he likes when she does give it up. We get an hour a day to have sex or hang out or just talk. it's amazing. i tried to tell her so she could stop it years ago but she just keeps an eye on him thinking that works. it doesn't. he's always online sending me emails or txting me. we r very close. i feel bad that he doesn't want 2 tell her all his secrets and fantasies. he tells me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I can actually relate to 10:26-
    I'm not anyone's mistress though I have been in one way or another at other points in my life. But I have a lot of Guy pals and I hear it all the time- sometimes they just want to be able to think outside the box a little- to be able to just relax a bit.
    In some cases I get both sides of the story- I hear the wives go on about all that they would 'never do' - or how they are so glad that their man is not into certain things- Yet I hear about how much he loves those "certain things" all the time.

    Many of these guys are like little kids on vacation when they are with me. Get a chance to take a little time to just not have to be on their best behavior. And there is NO sex or making out or anything like that!

    I think most of them just want to be able to do something different than the routine and want to be able to relax a bit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Mar. 14, 2010