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He married me for a greencard and fell in love.

DH admitted to me today at first he married me only for a greencard. He was attracted to me and lied and said he loved me and married me to fix his papers.
Now, 6 years later, we have been having marriage issues, after 2 kids, it has put so much stress on us.
We are working through it. We were talking today and he said the reason why he married me, not for love, but for this and soon afterwards fell in love with me.
I know it is 6 years in the past, but i feel betrayed.
How would you handle this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Mar. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Not very well.

    Answer by MoMmY2APrince85 at 11:41 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Does he have his greencard already?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I would be upset. After all, he did use you. I wouldn't care if he fell in love after he married me or not, he didn't marry me because he was in love with me and I would feel like our marriage is a lie.
    I'm sorry you are going threw this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I would be mad, really really really mad, and hurt. I wouldnt handle it well at all. I would feel betrayed and wonder what else he has lied to me about. But that is just me If anyone lies to me about anything I have a hard time trusting them again.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 11:44 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • I would be really hurt. But I think the important thing is he loves you now. The other is history. He said he fell in love soon after, so your children were born in love. I think that should carry some weight.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 11:45 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • sounds like he was trying to hurt you... i would be very upset. i would feel used and manipulated. i would ask him the reasoning behind him telling me NOW... was he upset about something and just needed to lash out somehow? was he trying to make a clean break? or maybe test the bond somehow?

    Answer by gracefulsky at 11:46 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • If you knew he was not legal and needed a greencard ....didn't it done on you before you married him? If he loves you what differance does it grow...I love my husband now more than I did when we met and I hope my love continues to grow for him.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 11:48 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • Is it possible he said this just to hurt you? Or it was something he said in the "heat of the moment"? Or even something he said because he felt that way, right then, at that moment?
    I know my husband has said hurtful things that he didn't really mean, but at that moment in time he felt that way.
    You said there are other marriage issues going on. Maybe that has something to do with why he said this.

    Answer by aprilmommy123 at 11:56 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • well all that matters is that he loves you now, he might have married you for the wrong reason but hey @ least he told u the truth.

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 11:56 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

  • This is the OP, he has had the green card for almost 5 years now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Mar. 14, 2010

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