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If you found out your hubby gave a message to a former hs classmate about calling him during work hours,

would you be upset? SHe had a baby and quit school in her senior year . She had the baby with one of the teacher's sons at the time. He said he just wanted to catch up on what had happened to the kid. The thing that is killing me is that I was the one that told him about her on the internet on the classmates.com section. Help, I want to tell her to stop talking to her. Should I contact her?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Mar. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • If he's telling you it's okay for you to talk to her and is even wanting to take you to a party he knows she might be at, I doubt there's anything going on. I don't know what it is really but there was one girl in high school that moved away and I've spent years looking for her (nearly 20) because I just can't let forget her and I'm totally straight but she was a person that I was close friends with at that time in my life, someone I could talk to, who talked to me etc... maybe as a teen he felt the same about this one or wondered how she managed with a baby etc... as long as he's not hiding things from you, I really don't see what the problem is unless you start accusing him of things and sometimes that's when you plant the idea in their heads that the other might be feeling a different way if ya know what I mean.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:21 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I sounds like a trust issue, who do you not trust him or her? If you are in a committed, faithful marriage, then you have nothing to worry about. Let him catch up with her and just make sure you know all about it. If you find some sneaking around or private talks then mention it to your husband. You gotta trust him first.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:38 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • No. Contacting her would be desperate and out of line.
    Talk to your husband about it, of course.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • well, ma'am I've dealt with many women in your shoes. I've got a lot of guy friends and here's what I've usually done.
    when the calls come I usually just ignore the first few- then if it keeps going I ask the husband to please talk to his wife because she's making harassing calls.

    then when she starts to send me emails signed with the husband's name that he doesn't want to speak to me anymore, then I forward it to the other account that the husband has given me, then he really gets upset with her.

    Just because he's speaking to a woman that is not you, does not make him a cheat. he probably said to call him at work because he knew you'd react just the way you are - he probably didn't want to upset you.
    Sorry if you don't want him talking to her, but if he really wants to he'll do it in front of you or behind your back.
    You don't own him, so you can't control everything he does.
    Cont -
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • anon 10:03 cont-

    sorry if this sounds harsh, but it is the truth-
    Like I said, I've dealt with this situation many times-

    If you contact her about it, you're just the jealous annoying wife that is harassing her for no reason.

    If you really want to do something, then I say speak to him about it, be honest about your feelings.
    his intentions could be totally honorable.
    Even if he did give up on talking to her he's most likely just going to resent you for being so unreasonable.

    Talk to him and be honest-it's the only way to go-
    I hope it works out for everyone-
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Have you considered getting to know this woman?
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:02 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • He told me to write to her and she will tell me that there is nothing going on. There was a party friday night and she was invited and I did not want to go if she was there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • consider that it could just be a big nothing- people don't have to be the same sex to be friends. Believe me :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • It sounds like you are letting her control your life. If you choose not have fun because she might be at the same places, you are going to start hating your husband and her. If he says that he is interested in finding out what she is doing, there should be no harm. I know a few girls who quit in their last year of school, and I get interested in knowing what they are doing and where they are in life. Just leave it to that, for now. However, you should not top your life because of this girl. Are there issues between you and her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

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