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How do you deal with your child when he tells you "you're the worst mother in the wolrd"!

My son is 6 and he was upset this morning because Dad and I were trying to tell him about his behavior. He yelled this to me this morning before school! It hurt my feelings but I know for sure I'm not the worst mother in the world! He said it out of anger to hurt me ...now I'm wondering what to say to him when he gets home?

 
mamaada

Asked by mamaada at 9:54 AM on Mar. 15, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 21 (11,083 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I taught my kids that you know what, it's ok if you don't always like me - because people don't always like each other. In fact, I don't always like them, either. BUT - I will ALWAYS love them - even when I don't like them very much at the moment. HOWEVER - even when one of us isn't happy with the other, and isn't feeling very much like we want to like them at the time, we still have to talk to each other with respect, and yelling mean things like "you're the worst mom" or "you're the worst dad" or "you're the worst son" are NOT allowed. Because the only reason to say something like that is just to try to hurt the other one's feelings, and, even when we're mad, we aren't allowed to just say things to hurt people.

    Even as young as 6, they were able to understand this when we explained it to them (it took a few times for it to really sink in). They know they're loved, they know it's ok to be mad, but not to just be mean.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:15 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • My child would be punished for speaking to me in a ugly way. Then after the punishment I would talk to him about how it hurt your feelings and how much you love him and want him to be the best he can be and you and his dad wont tolerate ugly behavior to ANYONE. Especially his own parents.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:56 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I remember throwing out the "I HATE YOU!!" lines to my parents all the time when I didn't get my own way - and you know what they did? Laughed, and completely ignored it - which I really do think is just the best way to handle it - if you show your kid that they hurt your feelings then they will just use it as a weapon in the future - they won't feel bad about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I said well you aren't much of a son either. This stopped him in his tracks and shocked him. We talked after that, and there was no more of this kind of mean talking. In your case, the words will be long gone by that time. It is too late to try to shock him and make him think of his own behavior when the words came out hours before. I would not accept disrespectful language from him even so. He should have been punished immediately. Wait until next time it happens and have a plan in mind.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:58 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • My son would feel bad about hurting my feelings. I would want him to know that words can hurt, even a mommy. I see how laughing might affect some kids but if I did that to my son he would do it again b/c he is always trying to make us laugh so it very well might become a game to him.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:59 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Whew! Those are strong words for a six year old. I would show him what the worst mother in the world was like. I'd take toys, tv, priviledges, give him his meals, no snacks, no new clothes, no going out side. He will see what a horrible mother is. I really cannot imagine that coming our of my kid's mouth. Tell him about crack head mothers and mothers who abandon their kids and see how horrible you are them. Of course that is what I would do, it is just a suggestion.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:00 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • You stand firm and reassure him that he's allowed to be feel mad inside and that words are better to use than physical actions. But you will not tolerate long continuous nasty bad behavior in his words or his actions.

    Have him do chores to sink in to him responsibility of family plus remove tv for the night or dvd, or c d or video games .....

    That's what I did with my kids now pretty grown.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 10:02 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Smile at him politely and tell him in a calm voice, "I probably hated my parents too at some point, and look how great I turned out. My job as a mom is to protect you, nurture your needs, and prepare you for real life...you will thank me one day for being the worst mother in the world".

    My friend said this exact statement to her 9 year old girl, and her daughters attitude changed so fast...hope it helps.
    Blueyz1981

    Answer by Blueyz1981 at 10:08 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Tell him to say sorry and mean it. Also never to do that to you again. Make him feel sorry. Even at 6 he has to be stopped and tell him back talk is tolerated in your household. Make your hubby tell him too. GL .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Oh, lol, once they got older, we would also tell them "You know what, we do the best we can, and that's all we can do. If we mess you up too bad, then we'll pay for the first 6 months of therapy, or you can dedicate a chapter of your tell all book / talk show tour to us."

    I would also (in a very joking way, and not until they were teens, and they laugh when we say this, too) - "Yes, well, being mean is not in my "Mom job description" - but it's definitely a fringe benefit..."
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:18 AM on Mar. 15, 2010