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Do you resent the religion you were raised in?

I have decided to raise my daughter Jewish (her father is Jewish, I am not). All of his siblings deeply resent being raised Jewish, even though they are all very successful and well educated, which I think was one product of their religion. Most of my friends who were raised in different religions are also resentful. Why do you think this is? I am struggling with doing the right thing for her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Mar. 15, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (33)
  • When we grow up and realize our religions are wrong, we feel like we've been lied to. Who doesn't resent being lied to?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I was raised Lutheran, I do not resent nor dislike or disrespect the religion of my upbringing... tho it did not then nor does it fit me and who I am (Pagan now by choice).
    But some ppl when older may feel that they have been cheated in a way, possibly missing out on stuff due to religious beliefs, and then many ppl don't.

    Answer by gmasboy at 10:45 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I don't know why people choose to resent the faith they were raised in. I suppose it is different for each individual and how much that faith played a role in their upbringing. I was raised Catholic, I don't believe in alot of the teachings, and I don't go to Mass, but I don't resent the Church at all

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:46 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I resent NOT being raised with religion. I felt very lost as a child, teen, and as a young adult. It took a long time, but I realized that I felt incomplete b/c I didn't have God in my life. I will raise my DD in the church and allow her to decide what religion, if any, she desires when she is a young adult.

    Answer by kenzie07 at 10:46 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I grew up (more or less) Christian. My family unfortunately wasnt big on church and stuff but they considered themselves God fearing (respecting) people. Personally I think the soul naturally searches for truth. I grew up with a baptist denomination but I do not resent it. It put me on the path to where I am now. Religion --I like the word faith better--should be a foundation to stand on and build upon. Although I am no longer baptist (I belong to the Church of Christ now) I am grateful for what I was taught when I was younger.
    You are wanting to bring your children up Jewish. From what I understand, to some it is not just a 'religion' but a heritage, a way of life. You and your husband should discuss this and find what fits. Good luck.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 10:49 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I loved the religion I was raised in and the parish itself too, it was very compassionate and nurturing. But I resent what my parents taught us about life from those teachings -to be uncompassionate (sp? sorry!!!!) and little to no regard for self respect outside of church.

    My husband does not go to church without nagging and that's stopped. He's not wanted out kids in church which has made them not want to go to church. He didn't doesn't believe in church and his parents took their kids to church out of social pressure from others not because they thought it was something worthy to do. If only I knew what I know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Not really. I don't see any reason to spend energy resenting something I can't change... I hated being forced in to a religion I didn't agree with. In my mind what i dealt with was just south of abuse and I couldn't ever do that with my kids!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:51 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I was raised catholic but my resentment came from my parents forcing us to go to services but they stayed home. I fell away from the church by 6th grade. Then for many years i had no kind of church affiliation. It wasn't until I was about 27 that I found the church that suited me.  If she knows, or sees, that you do not follow what your teaching her, that might become a problem.  This is why most faiths have rules about marrying someone of a different faith. 


    Answer by BlooBird at 10:51 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • We never really went to church growing up, my mom wanted to make us go but my dad wouldn't let her. She wasn't really religious so I'm not sure why she pushed. When my dad was growing up, you went no matter what. If you were sick, you sat in the back so you could leave to go to the bathroom, if you were dead....then you'd be laying up in front of everybody. My dad was also left handed, born in 1931, my grandmother used to tie him up and beat him for it. Said that God told her he was left handed because the devil was living in him. I can't really say I blame him for being soured on the church, although he's read the bible 2-3 times in his life.

    So I was pretty much one of those 'children raised by wolves' when it came to religion. lol I spent much of my growing up playing or just spending time in the woods. I guess my being a Pagan came naturally to me.

    Answer by daisy521 at 10:53 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • 950 anony here - my kids are pretty much grown now. Two still live at home and are happy for quite some time since early teens to go to church with me and 1 is grown and is very very responsible and respectful to himself and others. So in spite of no church in their early years as often as I wished for then, my own frequent words of compassion and self respect were heard and practiced by them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Mar. 15, 2010

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