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Is it Unfair to Take Back Oldest Daughter's Room?

I have a question that I'm struggling with....about 3 years ago, my oldest daughter who was 11 got her own room. Other two children were a girl (age 7) and a boy (age 3). Fast forward, three years later, oldest daughter (now 14) still has her own room, while my girl (age 10) & boy (7) continue to share. 10 year old has started her menses, so body changes are definitely happening and little brother is a terror to room with. I have a three bedroom, so SOMEONE has to share rooms. I've told my oldest that she must go back to sharing with her sister and she's LIVID. She's used to having her own room and doesn't want to go back to sharing.

What should I do? Make two daughters share or find a way to make separate spaces for my younger daughter & son?


Asked by ChocLotMama at 1:35 PM on Mar. 15, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (24)
  • If the only options are that two children must share, then the two girls are going to have to share. Older DD will simply have to be livid and get over it. Tell her what I tell my 10 year old DD (who shares with her 5 year old sister): she is free to save up to buy us a bigger house. Or she can have her own room when she is old enough to move out. Give her empathy for the fact that she is losing privacy, but be firm. She will survive this. It's not that big of a deal and it is the only solution.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Two girls need to share..Your ten year old is to old and "mature" to be sharing with a 7 year old boy, that is looking wierd..Just make sure the room the girls are sharing is the biggest room , besides your room..


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • the thing is your daughter is a teenager who wants privacy...and no one invades privacy like little sisters. is there a room that can be turned into a bedroom?

    Answer by aliishott2 at 1:38 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I agree, the girls need to share

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:39 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I would definitely move both daughters into the same room, i dont think its appropriate for a 7 year old boy to share a room with his sister who is starting to develop and maybe your daughters will grow even closer and your younger daughter will probably feel more comfortable.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I agree that the son needs his own physical privacy. Your daughter may be upset, and may not understand it now, but later on will.

    Let her know it's nothing personal at all. Boys are just different, girls go through the same changes as girls so it makes sense to have them together.

    If your daughter isn't compliant, maybe make an extra space for her, even though it might not be so enjoyable or neat looking as her room.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Ouch. This is hard on the oldest to have to give up her own room but it is time for the other two to be seperated. Is there any attic or basement space that could be converted into a new bedroom? If not perhaps making seperate areas in the larger bedroom for each of them even if it means putting the dressers down the middle of the room. I really don't envy you this one but do try to explain to her your reasoning and let her have some say in how the room is layed out.

    Answer by baconbits at 1:45 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • put both girls together. Me and my sister always shared a room but as we turned into teenagers we wanted our own space so we put a dark sheet down the middle hanging from the ceiling and "separated" the room. Try that or they sell those room divider things. Good luck

    Answer by tomsjennabean at 1:45 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I grew up sharing a room with 2 sisters. Sharing a room is part of being a family. I would tell her to suck it up and be happy that she got her own room for as long as she did!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • No what's unfair is to her that she was told that she needs to share. If you would have talked to her first. Tell that's there a problem that she could help with would have made the whole thing easier. At this age they are growing up. They can make some adult decisions. Go to her again and ask her if she would like to help her sister. Help her through this time. Then together find a solution so they both can have their privacy and share a room. It is possible. For instance for an hour little sister has to stay out of the room so the older one can do what she needs to do. then the older stay out while the little one does what they need to do. there are other ways. You be surprised at how creative kids can be at solving these types of problems. Especially when they are allowed to think and solve.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 1:53 PM on Mar. 15, 2010