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How to deal with boyfriend 7 year old daugther? Help!

My bf and I have been together for 4 1/5 years and lived together for about 1 yr. He now lives with him mom in order to her and help around the house..his dad past away last year. We are planning on coming together again soon but his older daughter -7 yrs old - out of nowhere is now saying she does not want to see me or my son or my dog. This is very shocking to all of us since she loves me very much. I suspect her mother may be feeding stuff in her little head because his daughter is also being mean to him mother. My bf ex cannot stand my bf mother. Anyways, My bf told me that he thinks his daugther might be jelaous of me...and that he will not let her her know that he sees me while she is at her bm's house. I only come around for a couple of hours 1 day from the time he has her every other weekend (Thurs-Mon). I dont think lying to her about seeing me will help. Help!! Thank you.


Asked by TOOMUCH101 at 3:13 PM on Mar. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • She is jealous and wants daddy all to herself. Kids do this. Lying to her is never good. Have dad ask her what is going on and why she feels this way. Maybe you can take her and do some girl things together with her and see what is going on.

    Answer by rochellecole at 3:36 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I don't think she loves you as much as you think she does. Children sometimes act like they do to keep peace. Now that she's away from you she feels free to express herself. I wouldn't blame mom for that. I'd have bf ask her why she doesn't want to see you and your family and dog. Maybe it's something simple that can be fixed. Maybe she just wants dad to herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I don't think lying to her is the way to go. Kids are smarter than most people give them credit for. He needs to sit down and talk to her and maybe spend some special time with her. I think she wants her dad to herself.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 3:26 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • She may not understand why you aren't living with her dad anymore. That is a big change in living situations. Don't lie to her. Don't hide it.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 3:48 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Thank you for all fro yor opinions! =) She won't talk to her dad. She gives him attitud and yells at him. Even before all of this happened she would come to me to talk about anything sh was feeling and not her dad. She reaches out to girls....could be because she is with her bm most of the times. I really love this little girl and i can't help but to feel hurt by all of this. Her dad thinks that she may need counseling.... it may not be a bad idea.... He suspect she might be bipolar..... Oh gosh! I hope not.

    Answer by TOOMUCH101 at 3:59 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • A seven year old is no bipolar. There's no way to be able to diagnose that at that age. Messing with a kid's living situation will mess them up-whether she likes you or not. She may just have started not liking you over something you did.

    Why is it that step parents or significant others always say "birth mom." Your not this kid's mom in anyway and you can just say her mom. Don't imply that your a mother to her.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 4:15 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Listen SaraP1989 - I came here to search for opinions and advise not to me judge! I appreciate that if you have nothing nice to say to plese keep it to yourself. You are not helping anytone with your anger comments. How dare you jugde me without knowing my situation. This is suppose to be a place wehre you should be able to come and get some positive feed back. I am not going to sit here and argue with out...really I have not time for that....but you should really look at the email i sent before you come here saying that i am implaying to be this little girls mother. My bf is a single dad and I am only looking to help him. I am not in any way, shape or form trying to be this girls mom.

    Answer by TOOMUCH101 at 4:45 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Not every response you get is going to be positive.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 5:08 PM on Mar. 15, 2010