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I made a psychologist appt for my 9 yr old

My son came to me histerical last night crying and shaking that he did not want to die, said he wanted to stay with me and his dad and didn't want any of us to die and asked if anything happened to us where will he and his brothers/sisters go? He cried for almost an hour. We tried to explain to him that no one really knows when they will die but that it was a part of life. About a month ago our family pet died, we had her since he was born, she grew up with him it was very hard for him to let go. My son has grown up in a family full of love but I've always noticed that he has a hard time dealing with things/events that have unfortunately happened in our lives. I guess I am looking for support/suggestions from other moms who have had to go through putting their child in counseling, has it helped as your child grew up?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Mar. 15, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You are doing the right thing. He may be grieving, but it is not normal for a child to be shaking and hysterical. He needs extra help and reassurance that he is ok. A therapist will just talk with him about his feelings, help him grieve his pet and deal with his feelings. Grieving is perfectly ok, but when it interefers with life, then it is a problem. And grief IS interefering with your sons life. Good for you for helping your son through his grief. He will have someone and somewhere that is just for him and a safe place to talk about his feelings.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:05 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • He is morning. I personally do not think he need to go to theripy for how he is feeling.


    Answer by louise2 at 6:42 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I agree. If it persists I would,but not this soon.

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 6:43 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • My experience with counseling is don't be discouraged if you don't find the right one the first time. Kids relate to different people. I think all kids go through a time of grief. My kids lost their step dad in 2008 and it was hard for all of us. He may not even need counseling he may just need time to heal. Take a walk with him and talk about what happened if you affiliated with a church have him talk to someone there. Good Luck.

    Answer by jesswonderin at 6:43 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • Well it's not just this incident, there are other things that have happened in his life that might have been dramatic for him. He also has mentioned that he is having a hard time controlling his anger and people picking on him because he is smaller or being told that they could beat him up. It's been going on for several years and I have noticed that his inability to handle his emotions is getting worse. My hubby had emotional issue growing up, I have also suffered from emotional issues as a child and hubby and I got lucky and were able to work through our issues just don't want him to go without being able to talk to someone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • You know your child best.When my oldest was 9 we lost through divorce or death several family members over about 18 months and .he reacted much like your son .Sometimes a death can cause a domino effect of worry.My son saw a psychiatrist that specialized in kids and teens.There were no meds used.He went twice a month for about 8 months The therapist was the one that told me he was thinking my son was ready to end therapy.He brought it up to my son,they had two more sessions and were done.Went great,worked for him!


    Answer by drfink at 6:57 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I think this is a good idea- if you are concerned about it and your own talks with him haven't seemed to completely ease his mind then a professional may be able to help just by knowing the right way to phrase things for your son's young mind to understand, and it is better to address these issues now before they get more out of hand. It may only take a few sessions. I think you are being proactive on your son's behalf. Good luck to you both!

    Answer by MaryMW at 7:57 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • One of my twins had to visit a therapist for grief issues when he was 14. It was about 6mos. after my parents were murdered and he wasn't handling things very well. It helped him tremendously and he was only there for about 3 mos.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:59 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I think it is a bit of an extreme reaction to the death of a pet at that age.... I agree with your choice to seek counseling. I would make sure they are experienced with grief issues and go with your gut.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Mine,she's emotional and gets worked up about things too.She's afraid of high places like taking the escolater in stores.She's 8.Last night we saw a magician and she said she was worried,that she couldn't watch it,that it creeped her out.I think counsling is good, but I'm going to wait until she's a teenager because if she's moody now what on earth will she be in her teens?I'm emotional and so is hubs so we can see why she acts that way but be thankful because your boy doesn't have p.m.s.!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Mar. 19, 2010