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ARGH! What can we do to stop our son from hitting his teachers?

My son will be 5 next month. He is in preschool at a full-time at a daycare facility. He went through a hitting phase - us, teachers, other kids - off and on from ages 2-4. We were very consistent in addressing it with him and the behavior stopped right before he turned 4. He hasn't hit us at home since, nor has he even LOOKED at us like he was thinking about it. Hitting other students happens very rarely and is usually not instigated by him. However, for the past few months, he has started hitting and scratching his teachers when he is angry. No significant changes haven't taken place in the classroom. We've consistently address it with what I thought were appropriate consequences, yet the behavior continues. Basically, what it boils down to is, he has zero impulse control when he is angry. ZERO. Has anyone else dealt with hitting teachers at this age? We no longer know what to do. Please help. :(

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Asked by sweetgracey at 7:41 PM on Mar. 15, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • To add to the above... Consequences we always use: Sitting in his room all night, no TV for 2 days, no after school treats like McDonalds, no extra curricular activities on the weekends (like the museum or Jump Zone). Consequence we addeded lately: No DS for his birthday. He knew he was going to get one. He knew it was off the table if this happened again and yet, the behavior continues. Ugh.

    Answer by sweetgracey at 7:55 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • I would have him evaluated to make sure there isn't an underlying mental health issue and to make sure their really isn't anything going on at school. He is learning it from somewhere or someone. I would NOT spank in because that would really confuse him. He gets spanked for hitting and is told not to hit...see the confusion? I really would have him evlauated my a counselor that specializes in children. They can also help, without medication, him find other ways to handle his anger and such.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:56 PM on Mar. 15, 2010

  • We do plan to have an independent 3rd party come in and observe to get their perspective. I would be concerned about an underlying mental issue if it weren't for the fact that this is only happening at school. At home, he is not physically agressive, he's generally very cooperative, and has a very happy disposition. It's only at school that we're seeing (or rather, we're hearing) about an inability to contol his impulses. If he gets angry there, he (for example) might start pulling books off the shelves and throwing them on the floor. Obviously, they can't ignore this behavior if there's the potential to hurt another student sitting nearby. Therefore, they try to intervene in a variety of ways (getting down to his level and talking with him, taking him by the hand and saying "let's go for walk until you calm down") and that's when he strikes out. In that moment, everything we've taught him goes right out the window. :(

    Answer by sweetgracey at 12:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I wouldnt just put all the blame on your son saying that he has an anger issue, this is why I am homeschooling my kids so that I can pay close attention to them and how they are reacting to certain things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • i feel you i am going through the same thing with my son and hes 3 but my son does not hit the teachers he bites and bites kids...

    Answer by elias1mamma22 at 1:45 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

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