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age difference and hubby wants no more kids, but i do

ok, my hubby is 35 and i am 22 expecting our second child any day now. This will be his third. I really love him, and I thank god that I'm blessed with two...and currently i play the role of stay at home mom and feel very lucky for this too...however, he doesn't want anymore children...and I really want for..but would settle for 3. He says no way is he having anymore. I want to wait two years..and get more financially set before we have another...but he says he's getting a visectomy and we're not having anymore. I dont know what to do. I really want atleast one more child..I'm young..and I understand he's older and doesn't want anymore. Does anyone have any good advice and please dont judge our age difference as a lot of ladies know that men take longer to matur!!

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Asked by oogiesmommy at 1:20 AM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (113 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I'm surprised you never talked about this before. I have 1 daughter and am having a very rough time thinking about having any more, ever. It's something I would be willing to compromise on, but I could understand not wanting to. He is done with kids, not everyone is cut out to have more than 3. 3 is a hell of a lot if you ask me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • accualy dont get me wrong, i'd more or so love to have like 6, but i'd be willing to settle to have 3...he wont budge on the issue though, so what can i do? I dont want to make the decision not to have anymore 22...I'm fertile and full of life, love, and energy. I planned on going back to complete my associates to become a vet tech..that would be done in two years. I really want another baby...i cant see myself with just two children..i always imagined a big family.

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 1:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Maybe if you go back to school and work you'll change your mind. I work full-time and I Think it plays a big part in my not wanting to have more than 1 or 2. It's just too damn tiring!

    Answer by danielp at 1:24 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • well we went through a poin in our relationship where i said, this is what i want..and at that time he had no objections, then after we had our daughter he didn't want anymore and we had an oops.

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 1:24 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • If he wants to stop, stop. Your being selfish. It sounds like he is the mature one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • i told him that i wanted a large family..blahzy blahzy....he wasn't happy about our little oops until he found out he's having a boy as he already had two girls...i dont know...i always worked fulltime since i was about 15 or 16 years old, always been independent, worked full time until my daughter was 6 months and then he said baby you can stay home, we can afford it..and that's what i've done, it's just if i'm gonna be a stay at home mommy, i need more kids!! lol

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 1:27 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • am i being selfish? i didn't have much of a i guess that's why i always wanted a big family, maybe i am selfish...i know he's getting older and doesn't want to be raising kids into his 60's...and i know tht two's easier financially than 3, maybe we can adopt some dogs instead!

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 1:30 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I went through this as well. My hubby agreed to whatever I wanted before we got married. We did discuss kids. I wanted eight, he wanted two. But, he said, it's ok, we will have a big family...whatever you want to do. Then we had two....and oops a third. (That really was unplanned). But he only wanted two and never "forgave" me for having the third. Really discuss this with him. I do not think it is fair that he is limiting you just like my hubby did. I NEVER got over the need or want to have more children. Yet, I do know he would have done really well and enjoyed having more kids. It is a thorn in our marriage. Fight for what you want.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • thanks, i feel the same way...he agreed to what i said i wanted..claimed to want very similar things, and then different story as time went on...i'm meant to be a mother, always wanted to be and i feel like i have so much to give, yet i love him so much and want him to be happy to...i cant see myself without him., i just wish he'd change his mind

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 2:09 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • This is one of those topics that you settle before getting married. I strongly recommend couple's counseling to work this out.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:22 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

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