Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should i stay out or not?

My brother and his girlfriend are expecting a baby any day now.So far for the good news, the bad news is; they both still live with their parents(no place to call their own), my brother has no job or whatsoever to provide for his new 'family'...I don't know if i should be happy or not, as his older sister i am sitting here with mixed feelings.Sure i will put up a happy face if the little one is born but i think the circumstances are very poor...i mean, to have a baby and no possibility to provide for it its a very very bad start of life brother doesn't even TRY to find any job neither.And as we know...children cost a lot of money.What can i do...try to help or stay out of this mess? I don't know the girlfriend at all, but i am an experienced mom with 3 children so i feel, at last for the little one, i should offer some help...but my husband says it's better to stay out of all this....what's wisdom?

Answer Question

Asked by MomOfMiguel at 4:24 AM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I would be supportive but stay out of it. with a baby almost here, now is not the time. nor will it for a bit to come. ya know? i think that right now the only folks who should say anything concerning work and providing income would be the parents they live with. If i were you, i would find an outlet to crab at about it, but to them i would show a good support and help with the new baby.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:26 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • sign him up with it is the best way to apply all over the place from home.
    YES YOU NEED TO BE SUPPORTIVE. DO NOT JUDGE HIM MAYBE HE IS SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION, GET HIM TO A DR. HE COULD TURN SUICIDAL IF YOU CRUSH HIS EGO! be happy for him and help him out! but=y them stuff without expecting anything God Bless Your expanding family, and your ew niece/nephew! Children are a reward from God! encourage your bro!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • @anonymus...i would all agree with you if the situation wasn't so bad...we're talking about a childs future who is at stake, and i think in these times it's a little bit naïve to put a child in this world with no money, no income and no roof above your head.I would never live with my parents with my 3 children... in a way it's also immature to start a family and depend so much to others for yes, i think it's cute a baby, but what kind of life are those two putting their child in??? I am so worried...

    Answer by MomOfMiguel at 4:34 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I dont thnk her husband is being selfish. he is likely concerned with her geting too involved in a very potentially dramarific situation

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:40 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Anonymus, it has nothing to do with selfish, i am a lot older than my brother and it's his mess, his in a way my husband is cannot burry the whole worlds problems...with 3 autistic children we have enough problems of our own, see.
    Besides that, we are not a close knit family annyway...i didn't see my brother after the birth of my children...and his lame excuse was that he had no children of his own, so he didn't know if he should come and visit or not...
    His whole life my parents served him like a king because he was the only boy...and so he grew up very immature and this is the result of it...i even worry if he will been able to raise a child, and don't even want to think about the big chance that poor kid could be also autistic... autism runs in the family.

    Answer by MomOfMiguel at 4:42 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • W.W.J.D. ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • OP i would say break the cycle. you say your family is not close? why not use this to change that. you and your family could be a GREAT influence and encouragement to him and his budding family.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:45 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • For the moment, i think it's wise to lend an ear and try to help by listening...after all i live in another city far away and with my youngest child, beïng severe autistic and needing care 24/24 i will not been able to visit very soon annyway (my husband works worldwide and travels a lot abroad so he cannot help out neither...) so for the moment i'll just BE there for him and all his questions, that's the most important thing i can offer.

    Answer by MomOfMiguel at 4:51 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • love bears all things
    love never fails
    praying for yous
    please just be there for him no matter what!
    that is what family does!
    your husband should read this luv you at least care!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • yes calling him is great! Show him you are in his corner and give him ideas! Your husband will come around I hope. If not do it undercover if you have too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 AM on Mar. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.