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i need advice: What do i need to know about having 2 kids?

does anyone have any tips or things you wish you knew before you had your second kid? my son is 10 mo and we just found out im expecting again.

 
joycegina

Asked by joycegina at 1:47 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • Well considering that we don't use the WHO to tell us how to have families, that was not helpful advice once again Gaill trying to make people feel stupid. Gina you are gonna be fine, your son loves other kids, and will love the new baby, and you will have more reasons to clean which should make you happy lol!! One thing we plan on doing is a day just for our DD to spend time with mommy, and one day for daddy, and then one family day each month so that she gets attention as well, and when the baby is old enough to we will do that with him as well that way both of them have their own special alone time with us. We are also going to make date night mandatory once every 3 months so that DH and I don't forget eachother either. It is going to come naturally just like the way you are raising you little guy now.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 5:54 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Mine were 20 months apart, so you'll be pretty close to that. I had two very hyperactive boys, and it wasn't bad at all. They were close enough in age to keep each other company. My suggestions are:

    1. Buy a good double stroller with a large basket underneath because you will need it. Much easier to go on little trips to the store/zoo/etc when you can buckle them both in because they will probably figure out that if they each run separate directions, mom can't catch them both!

    2. If your oldest is not on a schedule already, get him on one now. Keep mealtimes, nap time, and bed time as close to the same time each day as possible. Then, as the younger one gets older, get him/her on the same schedule. Even though they will not be the exact same age, once your baby gets past the eating every few hours and napping all day, keeping them on the same schedule will give you some quiet time and structure each day.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:54 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • 3. Plan outings often. Don't try to keep them inside all day. It may seem easier to do that because it is difficult at first with 2 that little, but take them out to do fun things, just keep the double stroller with you at all times lol. I took my boys grocery shopping, to the zoo, to the parks in the housing area, to the beach. Pretty much anywhere I went they went.

    Last but not least, have fun with it. Don't stress too much about being a perfect parent or anything. it's really difficult with 2 that little to keep everything perfect.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:56 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Mine are 15.5 months apart. Never a dull moment. It goes in waves -- for us the really early months were much easier that we expected, and it seems life is rather impossible right now (18 months and almost 3). But just be organized as much as you can be, let go of some expectations about how you and your house will look on a day-to-day basis, remember that your kids will both feel loved even though it will seem on a regular basis like you're ignoring each of them to take care of the other), enlist the "help" of your first child for the care of your second... You'll figure it out! Try not to worry!!! Get out and do some stuff, now, though, because you can take one child anywhere, but two... See if you can get a trip in! Congrats.
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 2:01 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • What mothers aren't told is that it's bad to ttc before 3 years after you have had a baby. That's the World Health Recommendations. Your body hasn't had time to recover from childbirth and your baby does not have an optimal womb environment. You need to make sure you eat well so the baby gets what it needs and your body isn't harmed. You can go to google and type in superfoods to find really good foods to eat.

    If you are breastfeeding, your 10 month old can keep breastfeeding. That's one of the problems with getting pregnant so soon is that your child may wean. If your child isn't breastfeeding that isn't an issue.

    You are going to be taking care of 2 babies. You need to learn all about toddler parenting that you can. Go to classes, read books, go to conferences, take an online college course, watch videos, ect. Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is a good first book. Punishment does not work.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 2:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • It is possible to love a child with all your heart and soul and STILL have enough left to love a second just the same. :) Don't worry.

    As they grow, find a way to carve out one-on-one time for each child. No matter how far apart they are, they need this time. Find time for you too. Don't worry if there are things that don't get done. If you and each kid is a live at the end of the day - you did well. No matter what you do - they will fight at some point. Yet, they will also play together and adore one another in their own ways. Don't compare or expect one tactic, schedule, process that worked with the 1st to work with the 2nd. My kids are 7 and 5. They are individuals. What DS responds to and needs is NOT the same as DD. Just because parenting 101 taught me this doesn't mean I can use it in parenting 102. KWIM? Go into this knowing it's a whole new adventure - but it's an awesome ride!
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:29 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • That first year will be hard, but remember you're not super woman. The house will not always be clean, laundry will not always be done, and cooking forget about it. Simple meals. But then something wonderful happens they start to entertain each other. Yes they pick on each other, but nobody better pick on the other sibling. In other words enjoy relax when you can, and make sure Dad is just as involved when he's home, for you will need a break and he does need to appreciate what you do all day, for his and your children. And oh yes never look a gift horse in the mouth, one of your Moms comes over and wants to help by doing the dishes or anything else let them. They apparently have time. You have nothing to feel guilty about your raising the next generation.

    oldermomof5

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 3:06 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Everything takes twice as long to get done. If you want to go out, give yourself like an hour to get everything and everyone ready. Oh, and when the youngest is finally old enough to play with their older sibling, even though the fights start, they now have someone to help entertain them, and you'll find yourself with moments of free time while they're off playing!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I think you just need to learn to relax and take each day at a time. Having 2 isn't all that harder then 1 if you're relaxed. I had 3 right in a row. They are 15 months and 13 months apart and it wasn't that hard. They were all in diapers for a long time (which was actually easier then trying to potty train a toddler with a baby in the house). The first 3 years just kind of blurred together. They are 9, 8 and 7 now and I can't imagine doing things differently.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 3:47 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I had 4 in 5 years. It's not such a hectic thing to have 2 under 2. Schedules/routines are a mustc. It'll be a little busy for a bit but you'll have a blast! :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

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