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Do you think we are discouraged from talking about how difficult it is to be a Mom?

I have a 1 year old who was a horribly high maintenace infant. She cried from birth to about 6 mos. non-stop, 12 hours a day. I will talk about it if anyone asks, and my husband always saysthat I make it sound so bad, like I hate children. I think it's just b/c women are not encouraged to be honest about how hard it is to be a mom and to have a baby. I think it is a messed up double standard. We're not 'good mothers' if we complain. Do you agree?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (8)
  • No, I talk about it all the time. You should hear my girlfriends and I complaining about our not-so perfect children and our not-so heavenly motherhood experiences,lol.
    You have your good and your bad, just as in most things in life. Tell the hubby to cram it. lol.
    Maybe when talking about it (withing his earshot to save him from the agony of the whole truth) add some good comments in between the harping ones,lol.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:59 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I love my son, don't get me wrong but his temper tantrums are slowly pushing me over the edge. "Antonio, no, don't stand on the couch." "Antonio, don't put that in your mouth." "Antonio, don't go upstairs and bother grandma and grandpa." "Antonio, don't play with your food."

    End result:

    Whine
    Cry
    Tears
    Snot

    At least 5x a day...uggg
    LaurenKaye29

    Answer by LaurenKaye29 at 2:03 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I really believe that most women keep the "truth" to themselves because admitting the sleepless nights, sick kids, colic etc will some how make them "look" like a bad mom or a mom that does not love her kids enough. Somehow if we tell the truth we are admitting that there are parts of being a mom that is down right hard, frustrating, etc.. I don't get it either. I have a great circle of friends and family and admitting the hard times and laughing about this or that and sharing stories have been great. We don't judge each other, because one way or another we have all made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes.. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or child lol..
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 2:06 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I don't think any child is perfect....they all have there "issues" or problems! Hubby's sometimes don't know cause they maybe weren't the one listening to the crying for hours on end. My DD was colic for months, and now she is slower to potty train and get to sleep at night. I talk about the good, bad and no so easy parts of life with a little one!!! No matter what there age there is always things that are hard to overcome but the love they give is the up side!! Good luck to you!! No child is perfect nor is a any parent....trust me your not alone!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I just read a (fictional) book that dealt with this subject "The Wrong Mother" it is actually a murder mystery but the woman's diary speak about the "hardships" of motherhood in great detail.
    I am a much older first time mother, none of my friends have small children and I was totally unprepared for the vastness of emotions that being a Mommy involved!
    And no, I think a lot of moms do not talk about how hard, draining -pick your adjective- it can be at times. Then there are those who strive to put on the "Everything is perfect in my world" front.
    I asked all of my friends why no one told me how hard this is!!!!
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 2:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Yes, If you don't like it, or it's hard or frustrating everyone looks at you like you're a bad mother. Even if they don't say it right away you can tell that's what they think.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Oh, yes. There are so MANY things that women aren't told about motherhood! I think it's for fear the human race will die out.

    Blunt fact: Whoever called babies bundles of joy never LIVED with one. The Gerber Baby is a myth, and that soft-focus picture of mother and child is a magazine fantasy.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:17 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Motherhood is a gift but its still a job after everything is given and the shower for the baby is over the real work begins raising a child is a 24/ seven job and no we are not encouraged to talk about it.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:20 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

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