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What do I do about a person telling her child to say "my mom doesn't like you"?

Okay I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now. He is everything to me but his sister is driving me insane! She likes to pass judgment on me because I don't have custody of my child. But now she has gone too far! She has been using her son to take out her anger for me by teaching this 4 year old boy to say things like "Uh my mom doesn't like you." And "Why can't you make (my name) leave?" Our children get along really well. They are great together and I really don't want anything to happen to their friendship but I have to at this point stop them from seeing each other. I will not have my child exposed to someone who is teaching her child to hate people. I could care less if she doesn't like me. But for her to have her child say these things is way over the top. Any advice on how to deal with this situation? Or what to say to her? This is the straw that broke the camel's back.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • Your boyfriend should deal with his sister and her kid.

    It's too bad your child isn't everything to you.

    Answer by Gailll at 2:56 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Excuse me Gailll. He AND my daughter are everything to me. If it wasn't for him I would be in no position to even visit with my child. He picked me up dusted me off and is helping me become a better parent and a better person. I assumed that people would already know what children are to a mother.

    Answer by skribe at 3:04 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Ya it is to bad that your BF comes before your child. My BF is #3 in my book but anyways! (#1Our child, #2me and #3 him)

    I would have to say your world(BF) should deal with his sister. Another thing not everyone in this world has to like everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • why the hell is everyone saying your child isnt important to you and that oyur BF comes first. THey obviously can't read. I think you are doing everything right! I would not want my child around that either. Aboslutely ridiculous! YOur child is the most important thing, and teaching that child love and compassion and not hatred is also important. Do waht oyu think is best!

    Answer by NaKeYJaKeYsMoMy at 4:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Yeah, I'm not seeing where it shows you don't put your child first either...

    Why? Because you don't just up and leave your BF because his sister is a bitch? That's just silly.

    If it were me in this situation I would ask my BF to talk to his sister about it. She needs to grow up and stop being so judgmental. It's none of her business what your custody agreement is.
    If she doesn't like you then that's one thing but for her to USE her child like that is disgusting.
    She's clearly too big of a coward to say anything to your face.

    If your BF doesn't feel comfortable talking to her about it then you'll have to do it. Tell her that you know she doesn't like you and that you really don't care about that but if she wants your kids to still be able to play together and keep being friends then she's going to need to grow up and stop using her child as a pawn in a juvenile game.


    Answer by Laila-May at 6:34 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I can only partially understand why some "ladies" here have tried to rip you a new one. I too have passed judgement on some moms I know that walked away from thier kids. BUT--- I DON'T know YOUR situation. Maybe if I did know, I would feel really sympathetic to your situation.

    I don't have any great advice. But I think the Mom you talk about is really S**tty! And some of the Moms here are really S**tty too!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Personally, I would not date a man-boy that couldn't stand up for his woman. It shows that either he is too weak to care, or that he agrees with her on some level. If you choose to commit to him, you will also be committing to this situation. Find a new man.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • What does your BF says about this situation? The obvious answer is that he should say something to his sister....however that's not always easy to do as he might not be in a position to do that. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to her together. Both you and your BF. She might just be saying bad things about you and her child is overhearing and repeating. Not that that makes it ok! She just might not realise (as a lot of parents don't) that everything that's said, kids hear (and often repeat). We all talk about others behind their backs as a way of venting, etc. It could be she's doing the same? Either way, direct communication between the 3 of you certainly couldn't hurt. And if she is a mean, viscious woman....then you know exactly where you stand and can make decisions from there.

    Answer by luckymomof_3 at 11:11 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

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