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DID I DO RIGHT BY ASKING MY HUBBY'S SECETARY TO DRESS RESPECTFUL?

#1(head notice) English is not me first language so ladys cut me a brake here w/the bad grammar please! So he is a lawyer, he has a new secretary age 23, I am 37 he is 48. She has been at the office about 2 months now, I just resently met her about 2 weeks ago. She seems nice but she desses unprofesional at the office, she wears tank tops, she has large breast and she has the habbit of leaning often to pick up something, many times my husband is talking to her sitting in the chair accross from her desk and she leans over to show him a paper or something on her computer, she showa huge unappropriate clevage, her boobs r about to come out of her blouse! At home I asked my husband politely to ask her to deress appropriate at the office even if she works Saturdays. He instead got upset at me b/c "she is a very good secretary and makes him $" So he doesn't wan to hurt her feelings and risk loosing her I asume. 2 B CONTINUED!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • first off let me start by saying that im sorry u have to deal with something like this. I feel as mothers and wives we have enough on our plate without having to worry about other women and our husbands. I dont think u handled it inappropriatly, u could have walked up to her punched her and called her names- that i would say is innapropriate lol. I do however think your husband should enforce a dress code for the office, and should respect your feelings more. If i was in your same situation i would have done the same. good luck hope she deals with it like a classy woman
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Mentioning it to your husband is fine...i wouldve probably asked the same thing...i have large breast...and i work in an office...dress clothes can be hard to find but i usually wear a tank top under ALL my clothes...have faith in your husband you may find it a little inapropriate but if he didnt outline required work attire when she was hired, it may come off out of place to start now......if it gets too extreme he should say dont forget this is an office...but if she works hard and doesnt cause any other problems i think he has a right to be a little nervous about approaching her!!! everything seems to get mixed up as sexual harassment these days
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 3:27 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I think you did the right thing! I would of done the same thing!! That's uncalled for especially in a law firm!! Your husband sounds like he doesn't mind seeing the cleavage.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I wonder how she was dressed for her initial interview? Your husband, as her boss, should be the one to ask her to dress more appropriately. If he doesn't, then she'll (correctly????) assume that he's enjoying the view.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 3:29 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I'm guessing her looks may be part of the reason he hired her, no? If he wanted more professional and less young and sexy, that is what he would have hired. Sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Well if your hubby isn't willing to say something then I would be worring more about that, then some chicks boobs falling out of her shirt. Your hubby has not much respect for your feelings if he is afraid to say something to her. Ask your hubby if his marriage to you is more important then the money. If the money is more important then you may just want to get your own lawyer "divorce lawyer".

    If my hubby doesn't respect me 100% then I have to do something about that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Does the office not have a dress code? If not then legally he has not right to tell her how to dress. She can sue for harassment or say he is hassling her and she feels threaten that she may lose her job if she doesn't dress better. Legally there has to be some type of legal document (dress code in a hand book) that he can refer too. I understand your concern but it just makes you sound like a jealous wife. (NO OFFENSE) Intended at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • True, without a dress code and he hired her knowing she dresses like that then there is a problem. If he works for a large firm tell personnel to talk with her. I am shocked he'd want his clients seeing her like that. It cheapens his office so clients will think less of him as a lawyer. If it's a small office with just your dh and her, I'd be telling her myself to cut the crap. She's wanting more than a desk job dressing like that. Men can be so stupid. The girl probably has her sights set on him and his money.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • As his wife, you were 110% right to bring that up to him. He probably hired her because of the way she looks. Like others have said, sounds like he has no respect for you what so ever. And honestly, men like that make me sick. There are lots of talented, qualified women and men out there seeking secretarial jobs but the only one's who get it are young bimbos with a petite body and ZERO experience. I think its time to put your foot down and tell him to get rid of her. Her leaning over with her boobs hanging out in front of your husband is NOT acceptable AT ALL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • He has been given her rides to and from work b/c her car has problems she lives near by, I know b/c I resently saw his texting to her & him to her. They comunicate regarding work but the comunicate in a trashy way ans in a buddy buddy way, I was shoked to learn his new young shoice of words towards her. He works long hours and they get to stary at the office after hours after everybody whent home, they stay "working". I know he doesn't flurt w/her but I not so sure about her to him, I think anywoman would be aware they are showing too much cleavege at work. She has come on weekends drives by to hand him paper work and she texs him at Family time regarding work and HA HA HA THIS AND HA HA THAT. It bugs me the conetion and way of comunicating they have. He will not say anything to hurt her feelings I said to him I would if he didn't he said, "fine you tell her, she'll hate you for it" Him thinking I really wont but I did!
    Sincitymamy

    Answer by Sincitymamy at 4:30 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

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