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Fixing the damage I've done...

My 3 year old son is very emotional. Sometimes he can also be very negative and says "I can't!" a lot.

I know that a lot of his issues are my fault. My soon to be ex-husband and I used to fight all of the time and still do sometimes. Ever since I was pregnant with him.

How do I go about repairing all of the damage we caused with our fighting to help my son be happy and confident?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • The environment acts on his natural temperment, so he may be a very sensitive child, maybe a little more self-conscious than some...These are not bad traits, but it is also understandable that you want to help him to feel more secure, confident and happy. It is great that you have noticed that your behavior and the fighting has had an effect. If the fighting ends and you increase the peaceful times that will help. Try to have as much fun as possible.....give him positive feedback, let him see you happy...In time, he will feel better and stronger. Don't see him as "damaged" and be accepting of how he is, but encourage him to be his own best. Blaming yourself won't help. Just move forward in a positive direction and focus on how you want things to be from this point on. Model that positive thinking yourself!

    Answer by BJoan at 6:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • First of all. Be in good terms with your soon to be ex-husband. For the sake of your child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Make a chart that shows only pictures of fun nice happy stickers and in a row how ever many rows, every time ds does something nice, good or says something nice and good put a sticker and clap and dance a song special for the chart.

    Also, get a calendar and and draw hearts, smiles , smiley faces on it for special days as treats. If he backslides when a special treat day is planned, decide the day of a treat day so as not to disappont him - and do something fun, special inexpensive with him.... an icecream cone, a diner meal, a day of hugs when ever the timer goes off and leave the time with ds -he'll love to come to you to give mommy hugs!!!!

    Kids can be good after bad times and during too -keep up the praise that ds is good mommy's sadness is not because of ds.
    That's what I did always -I told my kids I didn't love sometimes what was happening that made me sad but I always loved and love them no matter how mad anyone.

    Answer by lfl at 5:41 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Consistency is the key Key! Praise him as often as you can.Talk to him ask him how he feels. Stop fighting infront of him. I know hard. Sometimes you get in the heat of the moment. Play with him. Tell him often you love him. Encurage him

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2010