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my fiancee wants an abortion

I just found out I was pregnant, but its no happy occasion. My fiancee is 46 and has dish disease. He has told me from the begining that he dosen't want to have any more kids and I honestly didn't either..but now that im pregnant i want to keep it..but hes not happy. I can't say I blame him, but i dont know what to do now..he slips little comments in here and there that kinda hurt...i guess i just need some advice?

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Asked by mamatobe1989 at 5:52 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (72 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I had to look that one up! Is he concerned that the baby will have it, or that he will be unable to care for a child as the disease progresses in him?

    This is an engagement breaker. And if he doesn't want more kids he needs a vasectomy.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:55 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • What's dish disesase? Don't be aborting that child. He or she didn't ask to be conceived. If you didn't want more kids you should have made a permanent choice and been sterilized. I'd tell him basically,tough $hit,the baby is going to be born.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • If you want to keep it you must keep it. Trust me, I'm recovering from having had an abortion 20 years ago, against my conscience and on the subtle pressure of my then boyfriend. What I lost and did to my baby was no worth anything ANYTHING I believed I'd gain. Imagine yourself a few years into the future. What would a the baby's first couple of years of bother be to you then (as those are the hardest years I think). They are snip in time. I feel I want to scoop you up and run with you to a hide out somewhere. Don't do it Mama.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Ultimately the decision to keep the baby or not is up to you. If he didn't want any more kids he should have had a vasectomy years ago. Sorry but if you play you pay. I wish you luck, If you want the baby or not, I hope the decision that you make will make you happy.

    Answer by coala at 5:59 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • if he didn't want to have anymore kids he should have gotten fixed! But now this baby is growing inside u and it's too late in my opinion. Keep this little soul or give it up for adoption.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • A crumb of bread however small is still bread. If you have trouble seeing the baby as real Google abortion images. Focus on the positive of having your baby. Inagine them grown up too. This baby is a complete innocent and banking on you wanting and welcoming it.

    Don't buckle to your fiance's pressure. He could disappear from your life at anytime (sorry but speaking from experience here). Your child won't.

    MUCH love and peace to you Momma!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • i dont know whats dish disease? i dont think that a child should come to a world where he or she wont be loved! i also dont think that having an abortion is something as easy as oops im pregnant let me go get rid of it! ( im not judging) but if you guys didnt want more kids theres condoms pills shots,,,,,,,, and he is 46 not 16 so its not like he didnt know and yourself too! good luck i hope you really think hard about what your going to do! either way god bless!!!! :)

    Answer by gonzalez3 at 6:01 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Tell your fiance tough shit. Seriously! And if he has a problem with you keeping the child, then like another poster said, it would be an engagement breaker for me. That little baby did not ask for you and your fiance to have unprotected sex and make him or her, it is an innocent being and has a right to life. If he didn't want another baby, maybe he should have put a top hat on Mr. Johnson. Please keep your baby. You'd never forgive yourself if you got an abortion...especially only because someone else wanted you to.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 6:01 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Ultimately, what it comes down to is that this is YOUR body. Now I'm definitely pro-choice, but unless YOU are 100% sure you want an abortion, don't do it. It's not an easy thing to go through, and if you're doing it for him, you'd blame yourself (and him) for the rest of your life.

    And honestly, if your fiance was so convinced he didn't want to have any more kids, he should have gotten a vasectomy. I don't know if you guys were using protection, but even if you were, he should have known no birth control is 100% safe, so since he was willing to have sex with you, he should also man up and deal with the consequences.

    Answer by Anouck at 6:02 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Men are soooo immature sometimes. Give him sometime. For the sake of the baby I hope that Dad "gets on board".

    Answer by Energ8zr at 6:10 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

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