Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

PA post....oh goodness.......bash away.

So I've been reading all the posts about PA. I was on TANF last year because I had three surgeries to repair a fistula....I had a illiostomy bag and could not work. I am divorced from my ex husband because he was abusive towards me. I only have medicaid on ds and $100 food stamps which I am thinking about cutting because I have a job. I guess my question is......does this make me a lousy person.....I was sick and I had to provide for ds. I could have stayed with my dh but he was very abusive to me and harmful to my baby. This hurts too because I had no idea...NO IDEA...he could be this way until four years into our marriage. We were married seven. After ds was born he developed a drug addction and I kicked him out. He was smoking crack in our bedroom (where ds was sleeping). When I found out I called the police and made him leave. I couldn't have predicted that when I had ds. So why call me a lazy, lousy mother?

Answer Question

Asked by TinkTink205 at 6:31 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • No, That is exactly what PA is for helping people when they need it. It doesn't sould like you were abusing the system.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Most the pa posts I read have to do with people abusing the system. The majority of people have no problem when using it as you did as a temp "help" during a bad time. It is when people are on it for 5-10 -20 years and never do a damn thing to get off of it that people start to get pissed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Thank you...I guess I was reading too much into it. I was critisized by alot of people in my family for using PA.

    Answer by TinkTink205 at 6:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • It sounds like you really needed it. I wouldn't say you're a lousy person for needing assistance to take care of your child. I think everyone needs alittle help one way or another sometimes... :) Good job for kicking his butt out too!

    Answer by Jacki88 at 6:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • I agree with the other posters that the reasons you stated for using PA were valid ones and exactly what the system is there for. Youre not a lousy person. Things happened that you couldnt control and you're doing your best to get out of a bad situation.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 7:05 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Most of the post about PA are written by people who THINK there are tons of people abusing the system, which is absolutely inaccurate. It's easier to judge and stereotype instead of finding out the facts.

    That being said, you are not lazy or a louse, TinkTink205. And you don't owe any of us an explaination as to why you need assistance. I hope everything works out for you! :-)

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • And there are people who need programs like Medicaid for years and years because they are not able to improve their situations. Disabled people, for example. It's not our place to judge and to criticize.

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:47 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • no one is bashing u

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • You are the kind of person that PA is there for! You have done nothing wrong - you have done it all right! You did what you had to do to get out of a bad situation - for that I applaud you! No basing here!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Public Assistance is just that... TEMPORARY assistance to help a family through a rough time. It is not, however a way of living as many, many, MANY people make it. You used it while you needed it... GOOD for you! Now you are working towards getting off of it... EVEN BETTER!

    Answer by RutterMama at 10:41 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.