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What do you think of "Dear Prudence's" reply?

“Dear Prudence” got an interesting letter from a dad who wasn’t sure what to do about his wife. It seems that because he was a stay at home dad he was better at noticing their baby’s feeding cues than his wife who was primarily pumping. Apparently she resented him for it. “Recently my wife blew up at me and said that her breasts are her body and no other person can tell her what to do with her body. From now on I am not allowed to tell her when I see signs that our daughter is hungry because it then would be controlling my wife’s body.”

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • “Dear Prudence” replied “Your wife is in the difficult situation of trying to provide nutrition for your daughter while being at work all day. It doesn’t help that when she’s home you indicate you are more in tune with your baby’s needs than she is.” And she went on to say; “…It will not harm your daughter to let a few lusty cries for milk, instead of having Dad anticipate her hunger. Just relax and let your wife handle it.”
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • That is stupid, the answer and the wife. If he knows best when the baby is hungry why not allow him to help? I would rather not wait until I have an upset baby to nurse it makes it more difficult. Seriously that is immature all the way around, it isn't about her it is about the baby.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:48 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • The wife is being selfish and rude.
    Prudence should NOT be giving out advice. She sounds like a pompous ass.
    The BABY is more important than the wife's stupid, selfish feelings
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2010/02/23/DI2010022303485.html


     


    Here is a link to it. The question is about halfway down the page titled "Stay at home Dad land"

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • wow....i am glad everyone thinks what i do on this one. i cannot believe an advice page would give SUCH crappy advice....a baby is more imporant than this woman. She needs to stop taking out her insecurities on her husband. If she pumps, she should pump in advance enough so that dad doesn't have to tell her when the baby is hungry. I know it would be hard, but maybe this woman needs to make more of an effort to get in tune with her daughter. i never had this issue but i can see it being hard on her, but her child's needs should out weigh her own.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:36 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • It will not harm your daughter to let a few lusty cries for milk, instead of having Dad anticipate her hunger. Just relax and let your wife handle it.”

    Lusty? She really said lusty? How inappropriate is that? And the advice is way off base. Mom is being selfish. She needs to follow Dad and baby's lead.

    Why don't I have Prudence's job?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Anon: Lusty is not a bad word nor is it inappropriate to use in the context used. Learn your vocabulary.

    Definistions of lusty:

    1. Full of vigor or vitality; robust.
    2. Powerful; strong: as in a lusty cry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • um.. I do believe what Prudence was trying to do was tell the dad to let the mother bond with her child and figure out the baby's wants and needs on her own. Nobody can tell her that. The dad was interfering, Prudence was telling him to shut up and let nature take its course!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:09 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Dad does need to give mom some space to learn these things and stop acting like a know it all. Mom is being an overwhelmed drama queen with her pronouncement that they are her boobs and he shouldn't be telling her the baby's early ques. They both need a full nights sleep and an adult conversation. But short term the best thing he can do is get out of the house and let the mother and baby figure it out on their own just as everyone of us did a bit earlier because we were the 24/7 on site milk machine. This mother is suffering from pride.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • A stressed out mommy does not a healthy relationship make, with baby or DH. This couple needs counseling because the problem is much deeper than just when to feed the baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

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