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how do you gain trust back? i don't know what to think...

I woke up saturday morning to find a txt from some girl on dh's phone, saying work was fine. i looked to see when he texted her, it was the night before at midnight, after we had gotten into a small argument. i looked some more just to find he'd asked on thursday for some pics of her, she sent 3, clothed pics, he sent her one clothed pic. he wrote he wanted one of what she was wearing now, but she said she was in bed so no. then today i'm looking through his phone again and earlier he asked her what she was wearing and for another pic. she said she'd send him one later. so later i look thru it again, and he txted her asking for a pic, he said he wanted it for a phone ID, but then told her he was about to go into the shower and if she wanted a pic or video he'd send her one if she sent him one. i confronted him and of course he said he was playing around, not serious...i've had no reason not to trust him till now. i'm lost...

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Don't feel like you don't have a right to be upset or question what he's doing, and don't allow him to try to defuse something that is innapropriate, and you have all the right in the world to be questioning him about.
    There's no reason he should be asking someone about what they are wearing. Especially over and over again...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • omg i would have freaked out!!!!!!!!! but let me give u my story, my hubby n i hadnt really been very intimate in a long time, and i had kept talking and asking him what was wrong, and how i could fix things, etc but he was uninterested and rude about it. so i began txting an ex just to feel attractive again. i also sent him a topless pic of me which my hubby found! but as mad as he was we talked and i let him kno why i felt i had to do that and we were just able to talk and get past it. i havent had any other mishaps or thought about it again. maybe u should ask him to talk to you. and if he cant give u a reason other than he was just having fun, like if u havent done anything to push him into the arms of another woman then i wouldnt be able to trust him for a LONG time

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • well i can tell you that you're very very lucky to be able to look at dh phone. my husband guards his phone and laptop and i can't look at anything. my heart tells me my brain is right and crap's going on. there is no reason, about you op, why a married guy sorry right now have a hard time between what you're in and me i have a hard time calling a cheater of any depth a man ...
    there is no reason for a married man who is happily married meaning truly respects their wife to be sending clothed or unclothed pics to a co worker or another woman and also keeping them from his wife.

    and i know there's no reason why mine should be making sure that i never see his phone or computer on.

    damn wish i could drink tonight-

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • OP here- besides a few arguments here and there, i haven't given him any reason to do this. the other day we even had sex 3 times in one night! he's gonna be asleep on the couch for a LONG time. he wants to know how to gain my trust back...and i don't know. him doing this has never even crossed my mind, i'm at a loss as to what even think. i just wanna cry, am i not good enough or something??

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • it's interactive porn but who is she? is she local or long distance? that would make a difference 2 me

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • he said she's an old friend, she's long distance, from our hometown, but why would that matter?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • Sounds like someone I "know".

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • he wants to cheat or has already simple as that

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

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