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Do you feel anything ?

I have been with my husband for 5 years we have 2 children and a pretty nice life. The problem is, I really dont feel anything for him. I dont get excited to see him, I dont want to kiss him ( there are days ( and days) when we "forget" to even kiss). I just cant even get excited about anything that has to do with him ( a perfect vacation wouldnt involove him).

I dont know if it is because he is an ass all of the time, or if it is just over...


Is it kind of normal to feel ( or not to feel) this way about your husband?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Mar. 16, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (7)
  • I got to the point with my soon-to-be ex-husband where I felt exactly like that ALL of the time. My husband was a complete ass too. I can't say anything about your relationship because I don't know ya'll. But my husband got to be such a d*ck that I just kicked him out and told him I had enough. Now that we've been apart for a few months and have had time to look over our past relationship from a distance, I've realized that I was only with him in the beginning for the thrill and distraction, and I don't even remember many good times that we've had together. Heck right now I can't think of ANY. We had a daughter together and that is the only reason we've been together for the past 2 years (because we were getting ready to get an anullment right before I found out I was pregnant).

    I would take a step back and really really think about the relationship. Maybe ya'll just hit a hard spot, or maybe you really don't feel anything.
    srhmldndo

    Answer by srhmldndo at 11:18 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • CONTINUED......

    I mean, is there something stressful going on? Have things just gotten so monotonous that you know what to expect and when to expect it? It could be something that could be easily worked through. Maybe having 2 youngens is taking both of ya'll's energy to have enough leftover to give back to each other. Maybe ya'l aren't paying enough attention to each other?

    There are 10000 reasons why you could be feeling that way. I know what happened in mine. You could start keeping a journal, exploring your thoughts on things. Just keep writing and writing and eventually you will figure something out, if nothing else, you will at least understand yourself. Writing is really great therapy.
    srhmldndo

    Answer by srhmldndo at 11:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

  • My first husband was such an ass I left him and never looked back, it was actually nice to be away from him and the daily stress he causes.
    My 2nd husband could fall off a cliff and i'm not even sure I would invite his family to the funeral. I do see my ex bf around town, the guy that was there inbetween husbands and get feelings every time I see him. Feelings of sadness and love all mixed together. His gf is the director of my son's preschool and I want to get closer to her just so I can get closer to my exbf.
    My 2nd husband is just too gross for me to want to be around him and because of him I do think women should live with men before marriage...it's too hard getting used to gross,lazy men. So I don't know if I really helped here or not, if anything at least you know your not alone. Marriage isn't for everybody....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • gotta ask yourself....are you truly happy? besides your children cuz thats obvious they will always make u happy...but are you happy not having those kisses? that affection? the love being shown? if u r not happy then u may need to think about finding sum1 who can give you that and make u an even happier woman which in turn makes you a happier mother...which in turn makes ur kids happier...but if u feel like u can be just happy with only ur kids...then do it...follow ur heart...*hugs*
    RandiJune

    Answer by RandiJune at 12:27 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I'm the same way. My husband is the sweetest, nicest, most generous person on the planet. However, I just lost that lovin feeling. I don't know if it is because I am stuck at home and have no friends or social life. When the kids go to bed, the last thing I want to do is crawl into bed with him. I can't get excited over him anymore. I want it to be like it was 8 years ago when we first got together, but the kids suck every bit of life out of me to where there is no me anymore. I hate it. We don't have the type of network where someone can take all three of our kids while we go out to dinner or even overnight. I don't think there is a special someone out there for me. I think I have to find happiness within myself and then I can be a better woman, wife, mom. If that doesn't work, then I don't know what else to do.

    So no, OP you are NOT alone!! There are a lot more out there than you think.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I can say that this sounds like the thing called the "seven year itch." A lot of people go through times when they feel less than romantic towards their partner. I went through a period of about 7 months without having sex. It wasn't that I didn't love my husband, but more like I wasn't as interested in him as I used to be. Sometimes a good thing is to spend a little more time apart so that you appreciate each other when you do get to be together. People are creatures of habit, and we tend to get into routine that makes us bored. Taking the time and effort to find ways to spice up things can make you a stronger person in or out of your relationship. So many people just give up on relationships because they are not happy. No one wants to be unhappy. Before tossing in the towel, maybe try a couples retreat or some kind of counselling. I wish you luck in whatever you chose to do.

    etsmom

    Answer by etsmom at 1:21 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • The sparkles and rainbows fade, and you grow to appreciate your husband for the good man that he is (if you married a good man.) Maybe you're just comfortable now, rather than all excited. Comfortable is a good place to be.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 2:22 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

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