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How can I learn to trust again when my life experience has always been negative?

I was molested at 5 by my moms best friends oldest son named Howard. Then at 7 my aunt's boyfriend molested me while i was playing hide and seek with my mentally retarded adhd cousin Jesse. I suppressed this up until I was 12 when i finally told my mother. I grew up with my mother who was a lesbian and has had numerous girlfriends, this made my adult sex life hell. I'm married now and I cant fully enjoy sex with ny husband...i got pregnant at 16 had my first bb gurl....then i was raped and had a bb boy at 18 i placed him for adoption but i kept my daughter. Its hard for me to trust my husband around her because of what i went thru i dont wanna miss any signs so im overprotective...im miserable because i love my daughter and i love my husband..i want us to be a family...but im paranoid....is there anyone with a similar situation or can help...please no bashing or hateful remarks....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Mar. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • http://www.cafemom.com/answers/381876/Here_is_the_prayer_I_wrote_if_you_never_heard_it_before


    You can trust Jesus! Is your husband saved? Please do this and then grow in Him and read rbc.org Our Daily Bread everyday with dhubby

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Although I've never dealt with your exact situation, I do understand how you feel. It is hard to trust after others have hurt you. Let me ask you this, has your husband ever given you any reason to doubt him or to think that he would ever do anything to hurt your daughter? Has your daughter ever said anything or acted in a way to make you think that your husband has hurt her or made her uncomfortable? If the answer to both of those is no (which I suspect it is, or you'd be leaving him), I would suggest maybe getting some counseling to help you deal with the past. Perhaps even have your hubby go with. I'm sure he knows your history, and probably tries to show you you can trust him, but perhaps a counselor can help you learn to trust and give your hubby ideas on other things he can do to prove himself trustworthy. I hope you can get it all resolved. I'm sorry for everything you've had to deal with. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:27 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Wow you have incredibly bad luck.
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 9:14 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • have you gotten counseling? it's not a sign of weakness- it's hard to get help- I think it means you're strong.
    there are ways to find positive experiences in life- maybe counseling will help you find those ways.
    I know it's hard-
    best to you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I have been through the same thing. Was molested by 2 men. When my daughter was born I realized how vunerable a little girl is. I see it as a sign that you are a good.mom that you care about protecting your child. It is unhealthy though to be over protective. And you deserve to have a good sex life with your husband. I've had to see a counselor to overcome my issues. You should see a therapist with experience in this field. It will be hard at first but well worth it in the end. You are not alone! I wish I hadn't waited til I was in my 30s to get help. You deserve to live without fear.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 11:08 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Please send me a message if you need anything. Again you are not alone.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 11:11 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

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