I have'nt spoken to my dad in almost a year. I am not even going to get into the details as to why but he hasnt made an atempt to speak to me either. My dad and i have often throughout my entire life had words and he has hurt my feelings, this last time though really was the icing on the cake for me and i called it quits. I have heard rumors from my sister that he has said i can rot in hell for all he cares. Anyways, to get to my question, my brother who is 19 yrs old and has just become a marine has been begging me to call a truce with my dad. He wants me to call and apoligize and just ask if we can start over. ( i have nothing to be sorry for by the way) except maybe voiding him out of my life. I feel really bad because i know he is afraid he will be sent off overseas or something and he just wants to fix the family. I really want to do it..but in my heart it would only be doing it for my brother. should i? how
Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Mar. 17, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by lfl at 10:06 AM on Mar. 17, 2010
I wouldn't make peace with my father so I can't tell you to do it. Does your brother know what is really going on or just what your father says? If he doesn't know what has happened he may not realise why you don't want anything to do with him. If he wanted to try he would be trying.
Answer by JAIRATRACI at 11:06 AM on Mar. 17, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Mar. 17, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Mar. 17, 2010
If you try to work it out and it goes wrong AGAIN your brother will still worry. There is only so much you can do. Believe me I know. I don't talk to my father either. He is an abusive piece of crap that will always blame everything on everybody else. I have given him chance after chance. He has messed it up. You need to do what is best for you and your family(kids).
Answer by JAIRATRACI at 11:32 AM on Mar. 17, 2010
Your brother is still a child. Tell him a family is not something you can fix. Either it works or it doesn't. If he is not even willing to listen to your entire side of the story just nod and smile and go on about your business. You don't have to convince him that you are right and you certainly don't need the approval of a 19 yr old to conduct your life. The day that your father calls you to apologize and you hang up on him is the day that your brother has any business saying boo to you. Just tell him everything will be fine and ingore it.
Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Mar. 17, 2010
Answer by Pnukey at 2:56 PM on Mar. 17, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Mar. 17, 2010
OP: that could be why he wants you to work things out with your father. It's easier to preach about forgiveness than it is to forgive. Some people don't deserve forgiveness.
Answer by JAIRATRACI at 11:43 PM on Mar. 17, 2010