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It hit me......

Last night I was talking to a friend about the crumbled state of my marriage and suddenly it all just hit me! I stated how I even hated the thought of Dh even touching me and my friend retorted "you hate your hubby touching you, yet you sleep next to him and give it up to him?" Well that prompted my reply that not if I could avoid it and that I felt DH did not respect me and was very selfish. Once I made that reply I felt overwhelmed with sadness realizing how true it was and that I really felt that way about my husband and feel like my marriage is truly ending and at a place beyond repair. It made me very sad, but things suddenly became clear. Is this the point when you realize you must make a change?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Mar. 17, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Sounds like it to me. I have gone through 3 divorces and each time I had separated from them, then gone back, separated, gone back, and at the end I finally knew it was the end because I had no desire to go back and knew that my life had to change if I was ever going to be happy.

    Answer by TarLion at 12:36 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Sounds like it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • sounds like you should really sit down and talk to each other about what you want changed. He may even feel the same way but nothing will change unless you talk it out

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:25 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I was there, but I am giving it one more shot. My husband is a home boy, he is very selfish, but he loves us dearly and will make sure we have everything we need, and then some.
    So I decided, I will do what makes me happy, and enjoy every minute with him-we need alone time. So, i took it upon my self to get a babysitter, and set a date, we will do this monthly. Then after we get stronger, I will set girly dates w/friend, dinner, nails you know me time. I realized I fell in love with him for a reason, I was crazy about him. How could we both let that slip away, I am going to try to find it. If that does not work, then we will have to go our separate ways. No one said marraige is easy, but why did you fall in love in the first place. It is not perfect, but you should be happy, and if you tried everything to make it better and nothing worked, then maybe you need to go but really think about it.

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:38 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • This is my last resort.

    If you feel so tired, like he sucked the life out of you and there is no return, then you need to go.

    If you still love him, and want him in any way, don't give up and try everything. If nothing works then you need to go.

    Love and Marraige is through thick and thin. Right now you need to figure out, can it be fixed??? Good luck, I felt what your feeling, but since I made a stand on what I want. It seems a better, and I pray for even better.

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:41 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I'm there too- but in my case my husband does respect me and is a good man. but in a lot of ways I wonder if he'll be able to give me what I want or need from him and question if he's the man for me-

    don't know if the lack of sex drive is hormones, and maybe the other feelings are a age thing-
    but myself, since I'm not if a bad situation I'm giving it time.
    If you feel that your husband doesn't respect you, then you need to ask yourself why? is he really being unreasonable? is it bad communication?
    maybe you should see about some counseling- it just might help. Maybe, maybe not, but I would give it a shot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • That is when i made my change. At least you're getting on track. It took me a few years to realize that him being near me is what made me feel like so much crap.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:51 AM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I would want to know what is going on that causes you to feel that way. Are they things that are deal breakers? I do believe that if you focus on the negative you will feel bad about your marriage. Especially if you are talking bad about your marriage to friends. Focus on the positive and you might start being happy in your marriage.

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:51 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • yes

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:07 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Yes.

    Answer by rio_burb at 1:28 PM on Mar. 17, 2010