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Is he controlling or being nice?

I have been dating a guy who came to stay with me for a few days. He lives a bit far away and I couldn't get time off so he was at my house during the day. While I was gone he reorganized my kitchen. Cleaned out my "junk drawer," put the spices in a different place.... moved the dishes. And at first I was.... I don't know, bugged? It may have been a nice gesture and he was trying to help... but... I don't know. I didn't like it. What do you girls think? We have been dating for 6 months and he has been over before...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Mar. 17, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (20)
  • P.S. Someone coming in and rearranging all your stuff while you're gone sort of says.... I find you unacceptable and needing to change, so I'm going to change you and you have no say.
    ItsNotSoBad

    Answer by ItsNotSoBad at 1:23 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • i think that's awesome. he was probably just bored. i'd rather him be cleaning the kitchen than looking at porn. though he probably did both.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:14 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • maybe he was just trying to help did he say anything bad
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 1:15 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I think its weird. Id talk to him about it. I mean, its YOUR place, not his, right? What right does he have to move things around?
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 1:15 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • that's weird and you should discus it with him. tell him you apretiate but it is your house and he had no right to move your things
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • maybe he was looking for something, do you do drugs? have a large stash of money?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • That's awesome! He was trying to clean and organize for you. I would be grateful and don't chastise him for this. If you end up marrying him you will regret it. Tell him that he did wonderful and later add in that you think this works really well but this doesn't and next time you'd like to work on it together. He was just trying to be nice don't get too crazy about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • If it looked nice, i would have been psyched! It's not often that a woman finds a neat man. My DH is this way. He is constantly rearranging, cleaning & doing things to make the house look nice. I find it very sweet. He was probably bored & figured he may score some good points with you if he showed you how neat & organized he could be. 6 months is no bad, i woul not freak out about that. If we were only dating for a few weeks, then i might find it weird.

    When DH & i were just dating, he came to my apartment while i was at work & cleaned the whole thing. Put new curtains/bath curtains up. did my laundry & organized all my mess's. I could not have thanked him enough. He certainly got rewarded for that one!

    If you trust him, then you shouldn't worry. And if you don't trust him, then he should not be alone in your house while you are working.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:19 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • It's a bit obsessive. I had a friend who did that. He moved in to his gf's house and was bored so he rearranged her whole house while she was at work. He thought she'd be thrilled. She threw him out! lol I told him he should have asked her permission. It's her house. I'd have freaked if anyone moved my stuff around. He probably meant well but should have asked first.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:20 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I think he overstepped his boundary. From what I gather, you maybe haven't been with this guy long..... and no one would like the newest person in their lives to come into their home and start moving crap around. I find it presumptuous, intrusive and rude.
    ItsNotSoBad

    Answer by ItsNotSoBad at 1:21 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

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