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what do you do?

you find your husband has been texting an old friend (a girl), asking her for pictures, she sends some but she's dressed, he sends her one of him dressed as well, but he keeps asking her to send more, asks her what she's wearing and can he have a pic of what she's wearing now, then says he's about to get into the shower and if she sends pics or video of her then he'll send pics or video of him. you confront him about it and he says he was just playing around, he wasn't actually serious about it. i have no worries about the other girl, she kept telling him no, it bugs me that he was being persistant, and that the texts are always right after we have a small argument. (been stressed lately) i'm not pushing him away, i don't think, and we just had sex the other day, 3x in one night...i'm confused, hurt, don't know what to think really. he's sleeping on the couch for now. i go to him if i need a hug, but now i have nobody.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Mar. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • We think the same thing we were thinking the first time you asked this. He's bored and he's looking for a playmate even if it's just on the phone. You need to start playing to make sure he stays in the home playground.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • He was obviously looking for something extramarital. I would confront him about it bluntly and directly. I would tell him to be blunt and direct with me, as well. There's nothing I hate more than wasting my time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • cheater
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 2:01 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Honey, unfortunately most guys will push the envelope and get away with what they think they can. Seems like he is looking for an outlet for his "stress".
    I wish I knew what to tell you to do, only your heart can tell you what is right...but in my world this would be cheating.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • You aren't completely making him happy this is not your fault but his junk will wonder to somewhere else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • That is not acceptable behavior for a married man. And if he tells you he was just joking he is full of shit. He meant every word of it. No decent husband would behave that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Ugh. Ignore these people who always want to try to make it your fault...

    Your man CHOSE YOU. He CHOSE to marry you and therefore live the rest of his life committed to you and only YOU, no matter WHAT (for better or worse). If he breaks those vows, that is HIS fault, not yours.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Put him out in the doghouse rather than the couch.
    What would have happened if the girl was a willing person? Guess it would have been more than just playing around then. Glad she was decent enough to decline. But someone else might not be so smart as to say no to him.
    I would be LIVID!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I agree, sex or no sex, it gives him no right to wonder, or try to wonder. I'd tell him exactly how it is. It's not acceptable. You may even try counseling to see why he feels he has to seek this other woman, especially when she isn't giving in. And if he refuses to stop, or talk, or anything, leave. You deserve a man that respects you, and right now, he doesn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • When my hubby says he was joking about something...like he'd never say this, but lets just say he said to another girl, " Wanna have sex with me?" and she said no...and he told me he was kidding...I'd say, "You would't have been 'just kidding' if she had said 'yes'." That's my opinion if it makes any sense
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

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