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dh admitted he has a problem...and i had no idea!

after being pissed off about the whole phone incident, (txting another girl for pics) dh came home today and said he has a problem with porn and has been looking at girls online. we talked about this 2yrs ago and he knows i see that as cheating, and ever since then swore to me he hasn't looked or wanted any other girl. and i, being the idiot that i was, believed him. after he told me i was in shock and hurt and told him to leave, checked the history and sure enoguh he's been looking at that junk. i told him i want a divorce, he's begging for a second chance. if i hadn't found out about the txt messages it could have went farther! i've told him i want a divorce. what should i do? give him ANOTHER chance or just divorce?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Mar. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • i wouldnt stay if my man did that but thats my opinion
    joycegina

    Answer by joycegina at 3:28 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • take him to counseling
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 3:28 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • i personally dont think a divorce is the answer, that is just running away from the problem. guys everyday look at porn, they think about sex everyday, its normal. annoying as hell, but normal. i think going to counseling would help you two out. he has a problem and he admitted it. thats the first to solving a problem / addiction. he cannot help it himself yet, and i think you can help help him stop it and counseling is a start.

    good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • aside from your problems, do you want a divorce?

    KristaRene

    Answer by KristaRene at 3:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • oh for goodness sakes, you'd throw away a marriage to a good man over something that can be discussed and worked out? That's just being selfish. What if he had any other type of problem? Would you throw him out then too? Will you throw him out every time you don't like something he does? What do your vows mean to you? What did you vow to do? This sounds like a spoiled little brat who doesn't get her way she doesn't want to be friends anymore. Grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • He confided in you about something personal. It had to be scary for him to tell you and you react like that and throw him out? Don't expect him to confide in you again. I bet he goes to her bc she'll listen without judging. LEARN from what you just did or you may be a lonely old woman with no one to be with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I agree with anon 3:33. He did admit this to you so that is a start. i dont' like guys lookn at porn all the time either so i think you have every right to be hurt and upset but you could work this out in therapy if he is willing to change.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:41 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • i would be okay with looking at porn as long as he isnt hiding it but i would not allow the texting at all!
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:41 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Answered at 3:39 PM on Mar. 17, 2010 by: Anonymous
    "He confided in you about something personal. It had to be scary for him to tell you and you react like that and throw him out? Don't expect him to confide in you again. I bet he goes to her bc she'll listen without judging. LEARN from what you just did or you may be a lonely old woman with no one to be with. "

    I agree with the above. If this is the only problem in your marriage and you are otherwise happy, you owe it to yourself, him and your children to get counseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

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