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How do you deal with friends kids when your parenting style and expectations are different?

Things that are acceptable in our house and within in our family are not necessairly in a friends and vice versa. So how do you deal when you have their kids over for a play date? It's usually not a big deal but maybe it is because now because I'm tired and less patient. I don't know. Just feeling a little frustrated right now. I love my friend and her children I'm just argh, I don't know.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Mar. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • When children are in MY home, they play by my rules. When my children are in YOUR home, they bettah play by YOUR rules. Children can and should be taught to adapt to their environments. They will have to do this their entire lives! Work, church, home, friends, grandma's house - there are different rules per each setting. This is actually GOOD for them to learn at an early age.....

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 5:35 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • We don't do anything I would have to worry about.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:33 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • If my rules are strickter, on an area, than a friends I apply my rules, if her rules are strickter I apply her rules - that way I'm sure I don't let her kids do anything she would disaprove of, and I would hope my friends do the same for mine.

    If i don't know their rules I apply mine.
    (Except for a few : my kids are allowed to watch some R rated movies, ride their toy-ATV's and play some games rated M on X-box. When a friend is over, I don't let them do that till I have the parents OK.)

    Answer by Nynne at 5:48 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • My home my rules.

    I did have a friend who I just had to simply end things with because her child was wild and she refused to parent. It was so hard when we went to playgrounds because I was always tell my child no when hers was allowed to do things I didnt approve of. Hind sight being 20/20... thank god I ended it.... our girls are now in high school and I can really see how my hard work is paying off. Her child is still wild but a wild 15 yr old is total hell.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • My only sticking point is I used to have friends who said "in my house, I will spank your child." Ridiculous. If you can't watch a child for 3 hours and come up with something else, you are not fit to watch my children. Even if I spank my own kids, I can give someone else's child a simple time out for the duration of a play date. If you're so stupid that you can't use any other discipline method, I really don't want to be your friend anyway. Plenty of our friends spank, and are smart enough to utilize a time out once in a while.

    Otherwise, I let things go. We don't have Barbies in our house. Some of our friends do, and my girls can play with them at a friends house. They can eat a bit more junk food than usual. I respect that other people do things differently, and I get to know the parents well enough before hand.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 6:15 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • I enforce my rules in my house. I tried not to, but after a few visits I found that her lack of rules and discipline was affecting my children.

    For instance, these particular children have lunch here on play date day. They sit facing sideways (not the table), turn completely around, fall out of chairs, practically lay on the table and shovel food into their mouths. I've corrected their table manners when here. I've told them the need to sit up straight, face front, elbows off the table. When I didn't, I had to spend DAYS correcting my children.

    One of the kids never says please. I let it go at first. When it became a weekly visit I started asking her "What do you say?" when she made a request without using please.

    This mom pretends like she's supermom, but never seems to watch her children or teach them manners. Her 6 year old actually gave me orders once!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Mar. 17, 2010

  • Thanks ladies, it's nice to read that other's follow in my house these are my rules. I was just having a frustrated moment after a long day. It's hard reminding and reinforcing rules all day over and over again.
    That's usually how things are here when my kids have friends over. I expect that they obey the rules where ever they are going.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Mar. 17, 2010