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If the father...

Takes no part in the pregnancy, what rights should he have aside from the obvious of visitation? Ie: naming, child having his last name, birthing, etc

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Mar. 18, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (14)
  • None do what you want with your body and your baby. He'll be lucky if he gets to meet the kid.

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 2:48 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Just my opinion - I think he has only the right to support the child financially and have visitation as decided by the court, AS LONG AS his lack of input during the pregnancy has been his choice and he has been given opportunity to be invovled. If you have not included him intentionally then you need to readdress that, but otherwise, baby's name, birth etc is entirely Mommy's choice (even in a settled partnership Mommy's right to birth how she wants is her decision alone)

    Answer by myheartx4 at 2:49 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I know this sounds odd but...
    Being there during your pregnancy basically means being there for you right?
    what if you two dont get along? if he doesnt like being around you? etc?

    I think what really matters is how he interracts with this baby when the baby gets here, not how he interracts with you when the baby is not here yet.

    I hate how girls/women/ladies get so vengeful that the father doesnt want to interract with them during pregnancy that they push the father away when the baby does get here, then complain about how the father is never does more harm then good. IMO

    thats JMO, and do whatever you chose with the name, if you want the baby to have his last name, then let the baby have his last name.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Are you and the father together?
    what part does is he supposed to take in the pregnancy?
    your the one carrying the baby, do you want him to rub your feet?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Original poster-->I think we're done.I guess for me I dont want to close the door to him being welcome to take part in doctors visits and such but at the same time I am not sure i want him at them. He has expressed that he wants to be able to help pick the names and wants the child to have his last name.

    And im not the vengeful type... I guess I just wonder where I would be being overly nice and where hes within rights to expect certain things. I dont want to be mean, but at the same time dont want to put myself out where im not having to , in order to maintain decency.

    Yeah a foot massage would rock but by no means is it expected nor desired from him :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I think Im understanding
    its like you want him there, but if you two are not together, the things he would be involved in are kind of intimate

    I think you need to take the first step in talking with him about how things will work for the first while
    visitations are gonna be too rocky with a new born
    and trust me, you're gonna want someone you trust to hold the baby while you take a shower, rock the baby to sleep.

    and you two could come up with some sort of arrangement,

    also, if you do decide to have this talk then maybe bringing up participating in a pregnancy class or 2 would be nice
    or going to a DR. appt would be nice as well, and may, just maybe, he can rub your feet after the talk. Kind of casually bring it up like "man my feet have really been hurting, I wish I could rub them but its so hard with my pregnant belly and all." LOL


    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 3:21 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Lol

    SO not interested in having him touch my feet ROFL

    Maybe its the pregnancy but the thought makes me ill :P

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Oh

    lol, then replace feet with back.  Or just bring up how you need the house cleaned but its kind of hard being that your pregnant. or whatever else you dont want to do that you might be able to get him to do. JK kind of :)

    why arent you two together? did you split during the pregnancy or never together?




    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 3:38 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • oh okay I understand. You know, it is hard to separate the lover from the father, but if he is a good man, if he is gentle and loving, then don't shut him out of the pregnancy and baby. Together you have made this little person and together you can be the best parents ever. You still get to decide how the baby is delivered, It's your body, but try to include him in the name decision etc. He at least gets a say. Good Luck and remember pregnancy can do weird things to the brain and heart, right now a foot rub isn't a great idea, but you never know... don't burn a bridge that might be a great thing when all the hormones go away

    Answer by myheartx4 at 3:51 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Looong story... lol

    Short version... Together for about a year friends for many more than that... split new years... hooked up mid january (oops though, yes I used contraception for all of yous who will berate me :) ) and now im prego. We're not going to be together most likely, we were trying to see if things could be worked out, but its not gonna happen. So here I am...

    I dont want things to get nasty, I dont see a point. I was raised by two parents who were not together but were always there for me. And I feel like him and I could do the same bu at the same time im trying to determine what my limitations are as well as what is required of me. This is all quite sticky and very stressful. I wish it could be different... Quite probably the hormones, but still I do. But he doesnt. Tis life... Now what?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

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