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Would you Be Mad??

Me and My Husband have been together for 5yrs and we have a 2 yr old son well he finally quit going out all night (Which was like 3-4times a week until the sun came up) and everything was going GREAT until friday night i had to go to my mom and he was drinking well he told me he was going to sleep well i came home and he was still up drunk as heck and i found out he drove too which he promised no more driving and drinking well we worked that out and then tonight i had supper cooked he didnt even eat and he told me he was going to go drink a couple of beers and he would be home in just a little while he left at 530 and just walked into the door at 3 he has to work in the morning dont get me wrong he works his butt off to support us and hes a good dad but i give him everyweekend to drink and do what he wants and i ask for the week days is that to much to ask (Continued)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Mar. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I never get to do anything except be at home with our son make sure the house is clean and he has supper when he gets home why is it that he thinks he can do whatever he wants and theres nothing wrong with it because he works well we both agreed that I would stay at home im so tired of him leaving when he wants and coming home drunk and then telling me sorry and he wants to make it okay I have forgave him over and over and over when is enough enough
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • You need to talk to him when he is sober
    dont ask if he will talk just make time when your LO is sleeping or occupied and just start the convo.

    The way I make my SO see my side is, usually, I ask questions like:
    do you like going out all night?
    do you have fun?
    do you think you deserve to go out all night?
    do you think I deserve to go out sometimes?
    would you mind if I went out tonight since ou went out last night?

    and if he says yes to the last question just take it and run with it...go out, leave at 5:30 like he
    come back the next morning...dont check in...just go to a friends

    and if he has crap to say, just remind him that you just had one night out while hes had plenty.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • can you space your lines?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • It sounds like he is an alchoholic and needs help. If he doesnt get it things will only get worse. I was the child in a situation like this, and it sucked.
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:51 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • my SO was the same way. we have a 19 month old and a newborn and before the baby came i was the one working (he was laid off) and he would go out atleast 5 times a week. never invited me nothing. it took until about a week before xmas for him to go out, get completely drunk and say some really horrible things to me for him to see he had a problem. he quit drinking the day after xmas and hasnt touched not even a beer since. its like being with a whole different person. GL with your husband unfortunately sometimes it takes something really bad to happen before they wake the hell up.
    ashtynsmom730

    Answer by ashtynsmom730 at 8:41 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • It absolutely sounds like he's got a drinking problem. You need to say something to him about it, consult a professional about this. If you don't do everything you can to stop this behavior, you'll become an enabler.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:18 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • You've described my entire marriage. Mine fell off the wagon last night. At this point, I have no advice you want to hear. I can say alcoholics don't stop until they want to. Typically they have to be left and if they don't stop then, they won't. I'm sorry to say this but it's what I've learned. I've talked to mine when he is sober and he promises to change but after a while goes right back. He is offended by the suggestion he might well have a problem and yours will likely be the same. There comes a time when you have to ask yourself if you want your child to see his daddy drunk. Believe me, you don't want that day to come.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • First, married men should not be going out all night, or going out 3-4 times a week. Your husband has a drinking problem, pure and simple. My second husband was an alcoholic and we had 3 kids together. Out of 9 years together, he was sober for 10 months. I tried everything and I just couldn't take it anymore so I divorced him. He remarried and was sober for several years, but eventually went off the wagon "because he got bored" and ended up losing that family as well. He is remarried again and has never stopped drinking. He doesn't want to. My kids are grown now and when my son went down to stay with him for a month (lives out of state) he said that his dad would wake up in the middle of the night and go to the fridge and down 2 beers, then go back to bed. Drank from morning til night, as soon as he was off work, lost a job for drinking on the job, etc etc. You can't fix this for him (continued)
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 10:50 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • (continued) this is his problem and he is the only one that can fix it. He won't stop drinking for YOU, if he stops it has to be his choice and he has to do it for himself, otherwise there is no motivation to stop. Don't take it personal. You might feel like if he loved you and your son he would stop, but this has nothing to do with his love for his family. You may have to leave him in order for him to see the seriousness of the situation. Don't divorce, but separate. As long as you are with him and accepting the behavior, it will never change. If you do leave him, be prepared that he may stop drinking, BUT he may not. You have to think of your son and the impact your husband's drinking will have on him as he gets older. Put yourself and your son first and do what's best for you. Good luck honey, it's a long and difficult road. Hugs!
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 10:53 AM on Mar. 18, 2010

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