Nieces-

I would worry too --but I am also a big worrier lol

Ugh, I'm going to sound really mean here and I may get blasted for it but you asked so here goes. I have a 5, 2 and 1 year old and often get asked to volunteer for my son's team and school and tell them I simply cannot because of my kids. I have had arguments with other mothers but I'm not going to let my boys run willy-nilly in a room of strangers just so I can help out for a good cause. yes, volunteering is great but the kids come first and to put any event over their safety, health and well-being is irresponsible. The 6-year-old would be one thing, but she either needs to find a baby-sitter for the baby or pull her head out of her rear and get her priorities straight.

IF you are will to be there, she should be willing to except.

Sometimes you need help.

oppps, yes I would worry too.

I think it is great that she wants to help out BUT I don't think it is a good idea that she take her kids (especially the little one). I can see too many problems with the little one there and not being supervised as well as she should be. If she really wants to volunteer and help out then she should find a babysitter and leave the kids at home.

OP- thanks ladies! I was beginning to think I was the only one in the world that felt this way!

OP-does anyone think I should speak to my BIL (the kids daddy ) about my concern- I won't be mean. I thought I could talk to him about re-thinking the idea of my helping out at these functions. Maybe at one like this at a public place I could just 'show up' to show support for the school.

Mommy has a tendency to get defensive about things like this- thinks I'm walking on her territory or calling her a bad mom. Not so, but I do what I can to protect her feelings.
Times like this makes it hard...................

Could you offer to keep the kids or at least the baby for her? Maybe just say "It sounds like you will have your hands full so I could take the kids until you're done" or something like that. It sounds like even that may offend her. Or just show up, like you said, to support the school and then you're an extra pair of hands (and eyes) should she need them. It is weird that she expects other parents at the table to help her out, but doesn't want you to help. I can barely keep an eye on my 17 month old when I don't have anything else to worry about- they are fast and curious.

I'm gonna have a different opinion...these are her children and if she feels she can not do it she wouldn't do it. She also won't know what she can do until she tries. I have 8 kids and while there are times I can't help out, there are times that I can, I know my limits better then anyone else.

If you go to the hubby, you are going to cause a lot of problems......problems that aren't your place. If she was letting the kids play with fire that would be different. But what you are really talking about here is a differnt parenting style, and she is comfortable with the choices she has made.


I also want to add that people will help with the baby, she won't even have to ask....people love babies so I see nothing wrong with her choice.