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possible touchy subject-

I've just heard of yet another situation where a kid finds out that either one or both of their parents aren't their biological parents at age of 16 due to drivers education. The birth certificate is required the parents then have to explain why the kids birth certificate doesn't say what they expected.
The same thing happened with my cousin- they kept telling her that they couldn't get her birth certificate, couldn't find it, whatever. so one day she went looking for it and wondered why her&her mom's name was the maiden name.
Just wondering- why wait so long to tell them?
When I think of all the stuff my aunt and uncle did to cover up something that pretty much everyone already knew, seems like it would have been easier just to fess up and explain.
thing slike nothing on the anniv. cakes of how long married, your cousin looks like a long gone relative, on and on.
can anyone give insight?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Mar. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Maybe they just didn't know how to bring it up in a conversation

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Some people don't want their kids to know they are adopted.

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 1:46 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • OP- I guess I just wonder if they realize that eventually the kid will see his birth certificate - are they just waiting for the right time or do they really think they will be able to keep it a secret? my aunt and uncle felt there was no need for my cousin to ever know that my uncle was not her Biological father.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • OP - but they will find out eventually- wouldn't you want to be the one to tell them?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I have seen people do this and I don't understand it myself. My husband found out when he was a teenager when his parents went through a divorce that his father was not his biological father. I know it was painful for him. Don't see the point in telling a child a lie like this especially when it is so devastating to find out later. It seems to always come out anyway.

    Answer by bjane01 at 1:49 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I will try to keep this a short version. In my case I always thought my older brother's dad was my dad too. His name WAS on my birth certificate, but I looked nothing at all like my siblings (two older sisters from first marriage). I never knew the man on my birth certificate as they divorced when I was two. So at the age of 11 I asked my mom why everyone else had dark hair and brown eyes but I had blonde hair and blue eyes. She was very open and honest with and told me the story of who my biological father was. It didn't freak me out, I didn't have a fit, I was actually thankful to get an answer to my question. She had separated from my brother's father and in the mean time met my dad. They dated and she got pregnant. They separated before I was born and she went back to her husband and had me under his name. He knew I was not his child. I never really thought any more about it, I loved my mom. (cont)

    Answer by TarLion at 5:31 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • (cont) My mother died when I was 19 and I then tried a couple of times to find my father but had no luck. All I knew was his name and the state in which they had lived at the time. Years go by, life goes on. I tried again in my 30's to find him, no luck. I have four kids, am now a grandparent and for whatever reason back in 2008 I got an itching to try and find him again, with all the technology now thought it would be easier. And I did, I found him. I wrote him a letter and sent pictures, he responded with enthusiasm. His wife of 45 years accepted me and my family. They drove 1200 miles to come and meet all of us. I have a wonderful relationship with him to this day. I am his only biological child although he did adopt his wife's two children. It was so cool for me to finally see the blue eyes that had created mine. No I don't understand why a parent would keep the truth from their child. I'm glad my mom told me.

    Answer by TarLion at 5:35 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Everyone, needs to just be honest about these things...

    They are LEGAL DOCUMENTS ????

    You can not hide them ???

    I would want to tell, my child the truth anyway.

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:06 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

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