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any ideas? my stalker wont leave me alone...

i was raped 6 years ago and ended up pregnant, but my husband and decided to keep him. the problem is the guy"s (who raped me )girlfriend wont leave me alone. she was stoppin by all the time and after tryin to ignore the door and tellin her off a few times she kept coming back so i called the cops. she stopped tryin to stop by but then started callin me sayin i have a problem and i should try to work things out so he could see his kid..i told her f** off, reported call to cops and changed our number to unlisted, then she started droppin candy and stuff at the front door for the kids...i threw that away and again reported to police. so now she resorted to send letters threatening to take away all of my kids so her bf can have them..and again i gave the letters to police. they said there isnt much we can do. i tried to file protection order but lack of evidence so didnt go thru. i put up no trespassing signs. CONT..


Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Mar. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • My heart goes out to you... it's like a constant reminder of what that sorry excuse for a man did to you every time she stops by. How could she think for one second that you'd want him in your life, or in your children's life?
    Can they be sure the child is his? If not, I'd tell them that the DNA testing was done and he's not the father of your child (I'm normally against lying but in this case I'd have to).
    If she's coming to your house, leaving things how can they not consider that a threat? I'd hate to let this man win, but I'd likely have to move to get away from him and his girlfriend. It's got to be horrible for you and your husband for this crazy woman to not leave you alone. My guess is he told her it wasn't rape and she doesn't realize he isn't someone you'd ever want to be around or want your kids around. I almost feel sorry for her because she must be a walking idiot.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:28 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • her last letter was sent from the headstart office and included a pamphlet for early head start.. along with a note from the girlfriend sayin i need to let him see his kid.. this guy didnt even serve enough time for what he did to me..his charge got dropped to sexual assault cause of his mental condition and he is an alcoholic. im so irritated and not sure what else to do

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • well did you report the rape?? if so he shouldnt be able to get "his" kid. just keep reporting her and you need to file a restraining order. if you didnt report the rape then this may be ten times harder but i would move far from where you guys are.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Do you have a restraining order on her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • the raped was reported but his charges were reduced, and i tried to file a protection order twice now but the judge said not enough evidence and the only way now to file a harassment order on her is if she shows up to my house again, then they can arrest her for trespassing, but even the cop said chances are it wont stick

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Keep tracking everything and reporting it to the police and hounding them to do something. I don't mean this to be funny at all, but can you get a dog? My dog is very protective and goes ballistic when anyone knocks at our door, not to mention no one can sneak up on me when I'm home, I have lots of warning if someone's coming to the door. Of course he's part of the family, too, not just a good watch dog. Maybe alert your neighbors too just to watch for her and keep an eye out in case you ever have a problem or in case they see something when you are out. I don't see why you can't report this as stalking or harrassment, is their a lawyer you can call for help or advice? Hopefully she is just really annoying and not dangerous to your safety but regardless you shouldn't have to put up with this after everything you have already been through. Take every step you can to ensure your safety and to get a response from the authorities.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • op here

    she is clueless even after i showed her police reports and hospital reports cause she thinks he could never do something like that, her response was it was my husbands fault that this guy raped me cause he was out of town that week for his job and was home alone when he broke in. and moving is not an option, we would have to move to another town to get away from them and my husband now has a great paying state job which allows me to stay at home with the kids and we finally have a nice town home in a very safe area, the older kids are established in school and my youngest receives speech services, and she is shy at first, changing therapist could cause a delay in her success(hope that made sense)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • get full custody and move

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I'm sorry- it gets me how often these girlfriends think it's their place to step in on things like this-

    I agree, document and better yet, see if you can get video tape of any of it.
    My sister attacked me about a year ago and due to lack of evidence there wasn't much done. From what I hear she's talking about getting pregnant- word has it she's abusing her female SO- since she doesn't allow the SO to talk to most anyone on the phone and the SO is very jumpy- always looking to my sis to see if she's doing right and is always apologizing to her for seemingly so reason-
    I will be hoping good things for you and your child-

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Can you file a civil suit? Consult a lawyer to find out your options.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:13 PM on Mar. 18, 2010