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How do I get my man to leave porn ALONE?

He looks at porn when hes away for the weekend, which is once a month and sometimes when Im not home with him and out with his sisters. It bothers me cause he gets sex basically everynight unless we are fighting. I mean he shouldnt want to watch porn if he has me to get sex from right? If Im not home he can wait til I am. I've ask him a few times to NOT look at it and he continues to do so behind my back and it really upsets me. He says he's a guy and he wont stop when im not around. I NEVER had this issue with my ex fiance so I dont know what to do about it. When he's deployed I understand but when he's here at home he has me. Honestly when he looks at porn it makes me think Im not good enough for him and I disgust him since I have stretch makes on my tummy from a previous pregnancy, I think he would rather have a skinny girl than me and it scares me. He knows all of this but still doesnt stop. :( Can you ladies help me

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HisBabyDoll09

Asked by HisBabyDoll09 at 5:00 PM on Mar. 18, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (73)
  • I wish there was a way we could stop it. My husband will go into the bedroom and watch porn with me sitting on the couch. He will wait till I fall asleep when he could have just asked me before I went to bed. It is very hurtful and I will never understand why they would want to masterbate when they have a wife at home with them. We have sex daily too. I think you are lucky though that he only watches it when he is away from you. What is sad is when they want to watch it and you there or behind your back while you are gone to the store.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Porn is banned in my house. I have never seen a porn, hubby used to watch one every once in a blue moon when we didn't live together. For the past two years we have lived together there has been no porn watching. If we have each other why do we need to look at anyone else?
    imamommmmyyy

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 5:06 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Just wanted to add, we are rather sexually active and like to experiment with new positions so maybe that helps.
    imamommmmyyy

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 5:07 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I told my husband that it bothered me and why and out of respect for me and my feelings he stopped. He decided it wasn't worth me being angry with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I really don't have a problem with porn. I myself enjoy trashy romance novels, which are lets face it, written porn. I also mastubate quite often...sometimes just as a sleeping aid. I don't always want to have sex. I don't think you can make it stop...maybe you could make some porn with him and let him watch that. Or watch it with him. Just because its not in your taste or morals does not mean its wrong. Maybe your being high handed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Him looking at porn has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with how you look, how sex you are, or even how often you two have sex. Porn is a fantasy that no guy/girl would ever want in real life, otherwise it wouldn't be a fantasy. It's just the same as a guilty pleasure that you have. Like watching Soaps in the middle of the afternoon, binging on a pint of ice cream, or whatever else it is. It's perfectly natural for men and women to look at porn and you shouldn't take it personally. It is his RIGHT to look at porn and you have no right to forbid him from doing so. He is an adult and will make the choices that are best for him. You can suggest it, but it is ultimately up to him what he does. Either way, you need to respect his want to look at porn, and remember that it has nothing to do with you. If you weren't good enough for him, then he wouldn't keep you around.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:12 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • This was a battle I fought with him on for 3 years! It came down to divorce almost a couple of time. He was disrespecting me and our family and I wasn't going to put up with it anymore, I didn't deserve to. I put a parental blocker on is computer which monitors a sites visited and blocked. We have come to the agreement that if the problem comes up again he will be the one going to counseling not me. But he did have a very bad addiction,, not just a weekend thing. He would sit there and watch on his laptop while watching our son play. I think I look good after having a big baby, I have lost all of the weight I gained and then some. I am smaller than the day we got married and he would still look around. But since the blocker went on and the seriousness was discussed there have NO issues! We now have a happy healthy marriage! Good luck to you!
    Afrontz

    Answer by Afrontz at 5:15 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • You'll either have to beat him down with religion and morals or remove his testicles....I guess its really the same thing.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • Pornography is an addiction so it is likely your husband couldn't stop even if he wanted to, which he probably doesn't. It doesn't have anything to do with how you look, how often you have sex with him, or how many stretch marks you have. This is all about him and his being hooked by a lust for other women. I do not believe in divorce, but I do believe that this is one issue over which separation is warranted. I have not ever had to share my husband with another woman, nor would I ever consider that there would be any situation in which I would be willing to do that. Marriage implies exclusivity. That's what we signed on for and that is the way it should be. I would offer to go with him to get help(and there is help available), but I would tell him that if he chose to refuse the help, he would not be having me, too. Just like alcohol or drugs or gambling, it takes more and more porn to satisfy the urge, so do it now!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:18 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I've been reading these replies and I mean no offense with my curiosity...but those of you who are against pornography, are you also against masturbation?

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 5:20 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

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