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Marriage anyone?

My boyfriend asked me to marry him, he is a marine, stationed in indio, deploying to florida if we decided to wait. He is a great guy, loves and cares about me and Adrian(4 months) so much, we haven't been together for that long but when you know you know. Right? Keep in mind, he is not my baby boys dad, and is a year younger then me. But acts older then me at times. Now i have many questions that i would like opinions on. Being a marines wife? Moving my son and myself to where ever he gets sent? Getting married at my age(20 almost 21)? My son being only 4 months, and his real dad not knowing about anything that has to do with me(he would hit me while i was pregnant&presently. Doesn't work, gets high all the time. The list goes on and on. Pretty much is a piece of shit.)?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Mar. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • The marines will move you guys down there as soon as you are married. I was married at 20 my husband is almost 2 years younger than me. Hes deployed right now and we are doing just fine.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 7:46 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • It's a gamble. How do you know the marine is not just like your ex? Do you tend to attract the same types of men? If so, then I would steer clear and take time to get to know each other.

    That being said, I would NEVER marry someone in the military for a multitude of reasons. One, they are gone too much. Two, they don't make alot of money. Three, their lives are at risk. Four, they are exposed to too many hazards and conditions that are detrimental to their physical and mental health. Five, I truly believe it is difficult to remain completely faithful when they are gone for long periods of time.

    I wouldn't do it, dear.

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 7:54 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • im a navy wife. its a great life. i was married at 19 when our girls were 8 months old. we were together 2 years though. But we knew we'd get married after like 3 weeks, just the timing never worked out. Follow your heart.

    Answer by lundaylove at 8:25 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • If you love this guy, then I say go for it. You can't change who you love, and I think people in the military are wonderful. TLALONDE16 is being ridiculous with the reasons that she would never marry a member in the military. All of my brothers including my brother-in-law are in the Army. My dad was in the Navy. They have managed to have wonderful relationships, with their spouses and their children. The military, as long as the person doesn't get hurt, is stable. It is something that they can have forever, and when they retire, they still get military benefits. Even if your bf doesn't stay the whole time, what he learns in the marines is something he take with him as a civilian. Make sure it is not a fling and is something that can last forever. He


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 8:32 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • I think that being a military wife takes a special kind of person- I personally don't think that I would the woman for the job, but you may be.
    if it was me, I'd talk to some military wives- in person not just on cafe mom and see what their lives are like.
    then I would go from there- loving someone is very important when it comes to deciding marriage but it isn't the only thing- there's lots to consider.
    I would ask myself if my heart was all in it, can I imagine making love to the man for the rest of my life? do i have lots of fun with this man? has he ever shown signs of being overly possive or signs that he may hurt me?
    do we both want children?
    I hope that you will be happy either way :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • so you got pregnant by another guy and already met and fell in love with another man who can be like a white knight and rescue you? that's a fairy tale, not reality and he's a rebound guy so chances are it won't work anyway not to mention 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. Your baby's dad doesn't have to let you take off with the child. The military won't let you go unless BD is ok with it and signs papers to let it happen. It just sounds to me like you want someone to take care of you so you don't have to deal with life and BD on your own.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Mar. 18, 2010

  • If you love him. then marry him. If he is just a ticket out of your situation, then don't.
    With that said, If you do marry him, the marines will be a big change for you. It can difficult to move so often, but the marines are a big family and will embrace you and your child. If you do marry, immediately get to know other wives and join playgroups, and do all the social things you can find. Remember these women are just like you. Being a young mother is very isolating and your husband will be very busy. Cling to the other wives for support. Good luck with your decision.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Mar. 19, 2010

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